(no subject)
Jun. 2nd, 2004 10:56 amI was raised to be terrified of change.
In Pulaski, you get a job right out of high school, and you stay there until you retire or they lay you off to outsource your job to overseas, you marry your high-school sweetheart and if you're my parents, you stay married even if you hate each other. (If you're somebody else's parents, you embark on a whirlwind of divorces and remarriages that you need a scorecard to keep up with, but I digress.)
I stayed with high-school band even though I hated it, because I didn't want to be a quitter. I declared before I even started kindergarten that I was going to go to Vanderbilt, and I did.
I don't know how to strike out in a new direction. I don't know how to be brave.
I'm so scared I could throw up.
In Pulaski, you get a job right out of high school, and you stay there until you retire or they lay you off to outsource your job to overseas, you marry your high-school sweetheart and if you're my parents, you stay married even if you hate each other. (If you're somebody else's parents, you embark on a whirlwind of divorces and remarriages that you need a scorecard to keep up with, but I digress.)
I stayed with high-school band even though I hated it, because I didn't want to be a quitter. I declared before I even started kindergarten that I was going to go to Vanderbilt, and I did.
I don't know how to strike out in a new direction. I don't know how to be brave.
I'm so scared I could throw up.
no subject
Date: 2004-06-02 08:48 am (UTC)one foot in front of the other
focus on what is directly in front of you
you can do it!
no subject
Date: 2004-06-02 08:50 am (UTC)The first major change/risk will be your hardest. They get much easier with each change/risk you take. Trust me on this.
Surround yourself with friends who will support your decision, no matter how they personally feel.
And then, take a deep breath and do it.
no subject
Date: 2004-06-02 08:53 am (UTC)What We Keep
Date: 2004-06-02 08:56 am (UTC)Even when things change, you can and do take some things with you. Nobody loses everything even in the largest of changes.
You often complain about where you are, how you are not happy with things as they are. The only way to get free from what you don't love, you need to change. That said, you don't have to change everything. After all, even in this, there is much that you love.
As they say in the 12 steps . . . take what you like and leave the rest.
no subject
Date: 2004-06-02 09:01 am (UTC)As somene above said: One foot in front of the other.
no subject
Date: 2004-06-02 09:09 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-06-02 09:41 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-06-02 10:20 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-06-02 11:07 am (UTC)"yes, son?"
"what does regret mean?"
"well, son...it's better to regret something you have done, than to regret something you haven't done..."
/Orbital
no subject
Date: 2004-06-02 11:09 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-06-02 11:11 am (UTC)Also: imposed change can really improve the situation for those of us who won't budge without a crowbar or explosives. I am petrified/terrified by change, too, but I can honestly say that in retrospect, I am far better off because of each of the changes. Whatever is happening, you will be better off eventually - and, clearly, you will have friends and support through it all! ::hug and virtual cup of tea:: EGBAR (evrathin' gon' be aw-right)!
no subject
Date: 2004-06-02 11:41 am (UTC)/reference
no subject
Date: 2004-06-02 11:47 am (UTC)/it was obvious though
no subject
Date: 2004-06-02 11:57 am (UTC)Just throw up! Seriously! Should you hold in everything? No! Should you spend all of your time dreaming of the life you didn't take? No to that too.
I have closets full of possible regrets, but each one of them has allowed me to become the person I am. If you judge me by how much of my "potential" I realized, I guess you could consider me a failure. When I die, though, I'll know who I was. I'll have stuffed my life with experiences that filled me with joy and pain, sorrow and bliss. You can exude chicken-feces-ness if you want...it's actually better if you don't put on a false brave face, but you'll find it a lot easier to find joy if you take just a single step for yourself. It can be something that seems really insignificant and silly (like coloring your hair) but every little step gets you there. The best cure for anomie is not-so-random action. You can't learn to ride a bike if you're afraid to skin your knees, right? Hang in there; you're not alone!
no subject
Date: 2004-06-02 03:12 pm (UTC)