kellinator: (Aragorn by delectableoomph)
[personal profile] kellinator
What's better than getting an email forward chock-full of sex and drug jokes?

Getting an email forward chock-full of sex and drug jokes from your mom.

I mean, how the hell am I supposed to pretend I don't get all these jokes when my mom's the one sending them to me? We're the family in denial. My brother goes in his room with his girlfriend and they turn out the lights and get under the covers and set the freakin' alarm and my parents at least pretend to believe that they're "taking naps." (And yes, hell would freeze over before they would let me get away with that because I'm a gir-rl. Don't even get me started on the double standards in my family, I'll never shut up.)

I've spent years trying to sound like I don't know anything about this stuff! [livejournal.com profile] ptwarhol's under standing orders that if I'm killed in a plane crash, he's supposed to get his ass over to my place and get rid of the condoms and vibrators before my parents show up! How the hell am I supposed to maintain my plausible deniability?

...On the other hand, does this mean now I can talk about sex with my mom? Because if she didn't have a heart attack or call me a slut, that would be pretty cool.

Re: TMI

Date: 2005-02-23 11:14 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bheansidhe.livejournal.com
Oo! Is [livejournal.com profile] reannon an erotic author?

My favorite toy store is available online 24/7: www.blowfish.com. Worth a visit for the reviews ALONE.

Re: TMI

Date: 2005-02-23 11:18 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kellinator.livejournal.com
Awww, HELL yes!! Did I not properly introduce you guys at DragonCon?

[livejournal.com profile] reannon is the author of the excellent vampire erotic thriller Nocturnal Urges:
http://www.ellorascave.com/productpage.asp?ISBN=1-4199-0004-8

And she's hard at work on the sequel, featuring a bitchy, cranky, punch-throwing detective named after yours truly.

C'mon, Ann. I know you like vampires...

Re: TMI

Date: 2005-02-23 11:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bheansidhe.livejournal.com
I just bought two Ellora's Cave ebooks. Market research. I'd've bought hers if I'd known, though. I'll get it next time.

Re: TMI

Date: 2005-02-23 11:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bheansidhe.livejournal.com
....but I could not pass up the title "Weather Balloons Make Rotten Sex Toys."

Haven't read it yet. Bit scared, actually.

Re: TMI

Date: 2005-02-24 04:33 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kellinator.livejournal.com
Market research? Are you writing them too?

Re: TMI

Date: 2005-02-23 11:18 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kellinator.livejournal.com
And hey now! I'm busy helping my landlords with their website and will be pimping it here soon. :)

Re: TMI

Date: 2005-02-24 06:03 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] pokeyturtle.livejournal.com
seconded! and man do they ever ship fast.

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