Unsent Letters, NBA playoffs edition
May. 16th, 2007 01:19 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kellinatorDear Steve Nash,
Wow. I am so sorry I doubted you, Steve My Man. At some point during the regular season I looked at you looking pissed on the TV and promptly told James, "The Suns are going to win it all this year, because Steve Nash is PISSED." I'm sorry I forgot about that for a while this week. What you did Monday night was freakin' spectacular. And even though that asshat David Stern has screwed the Suns, I know you're going to find a way to pull it out tonight. Go Suns!
Love love love,
Your Number-One Crazy Obsessed Fan
PS -- I never thought I'd see you go after another player, but when you tried to take Robert Horry's head off? Totally hot.
Dear Robert Horry,
Wow, what a shame. You had like the best current nickname in the NBA -- Big Shot Bob -- and you had to go and change it to Cheap Shot Bob, which let me tell you doesn't sound nearly as cool. Plus, you tried to turn Steve Nash into Canadian bacon. Therefore, in addition to being a thug on general principle, you're a thug who tried to kill my basketball boyfriend, which means I double don't like you. Pbbbbthp.
No love,
A Basketball Fan (and Somewhat Rabid Fangirl)
Dear San Antonio Spurs,
Wow. I've given you the benefit of a doubt for a long time because you used to be pretty classy, but now I'm with Amare. Dirty!
Go take a bath or something,
Not Amused
Dear David Stern,
Wow. You used to be the official Best Commissioner In Sports, but I'm starting to think you just got lucky hanging on to Bird, Magic, and Jordan's coattails. You've been getting increasingly erratic and draconian over the past few years, and now you've allowed the Spurs to play you, or is it pay you? And what do you have against the Suns anyway? All they ever did to you was make basketball interesting again and make your ratings go up. Are you actually trying to kill the NBA? Because I remember who watched the last Spurs-Pistons finals: NO ONE. I POOP ON YOU.
If I had a cock, I'd tell you to suck it,
Pissed, and Not Just Because I Like the Suns
Dear Eastern Conference,
Wow. You are boring. Like, watching the paint dry boring. I guess you guys must be in a hurry to get the games over with so you can go home and watch the real playoffs.
Yaaaaaaaaaaaawn,
An Irritated East-Coaster
Dear Kobe,
Wow. You have nothing to do with the playoffs at this point, but I just wanted to let you know I still hate you.
No love,
Laker-Hater and Proud of It
Wow. I am so sorry I doubted you, Steve My Man. At some point during the regular season I looked at you looking pissed on the TV and promptly told James, "The Suns are going to win it all this year, because Steve Nash is PISSED." I'm sorry I forgot about that for a while this week. What you did Monday night was freakin' spectacular. And even though that asshat David Stern has screwed the Suns, I know you're going to find a way to pull it out tonight. Go Suns!
Love love love,
Your Number-One Crazy Obsessed Fan
PS -- I never thought I'd see you go after another player, but when you tried to take Robert Horry's head off? Totally hot.
Dear Robert Horry,
Wow, what a shame. You had like the best current nickname in the NBA -- Big Shot Bob -- and you had to go and change it to Cheap Shot Bob, which let me tell you doesn't sound nearly as cool. Plus, you tried to turn Steve Nash into Canadian bacon. Therefore, in addition to being a thug on general principle, you're a thug who tried to kill my basketball boyfriend, which means I double don't like you. Pbbbbthp.
No love,
A Basketball Fan (and Somewhat Rabid Fangirl)
Dear San Antonio Spurs,
Wow. I've given you the benefit of a doubt for a long time because you used to be pretty classy, but now I'm with Amare. Dirty!
Go take a bath or something,
Not Amused
Dear David Stern,
Wow. You used to be the official Best Commissioner In Sports, but I'm starting to think you just got lucky hanging on to Bird, Magic, and Jordan's coattails. You've been getting increasingly erratic and draconian over the past few years, and now you've allowed the Spurs to play you, or is it pay you? And what do you have against the Suns anyway? All they ever did to you was make basketball interesting again and make your ratings go up. Are you actually trying to kill the NBA? Because I remember who watched the last Spurs-Pistons finals: NO ONE. I POOP ON YOU.
If I had a cock, I'd tell you to suck it,
Pissed, and Not Just Because I Like the Suns
Dear Eastern Conference,
Wow. You are boring. Like, watching the paint dry boring. I guess you guys must be in a hurry to get the games over with so you can go home and watch the real playoffs.
Yaaaaaaaaaaaawn,
An Irritated East-Coaster
Dear Kobe,
Wow. You have nothing to do with the playoffs at this point, but I just wanted to let you know I still hate you.
No love,
Laker-Hater and Proud of It
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no subject
Date: 2007-05-16 05:46 pm (UTC)Bill Laimbeer was one of the most notorious players ever to throw an elbow, thrust a hip, or feign being fouled. Certainly, no player was ever showered with more boos or unflattering nicknames. Laimbeer was called "the prince of darkness," "a street thug," "an ax murderer" and "His Heinous."
Or are you not old enough? He played for the Pistons (and his daughter goes to school here and I believe she's on the women's basketball team). In any case, talk about cheap shots! I quit watching basketball because of him.
Good luck to your Suns.
no subject
Date: 2007-05-16 07:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-05-16 09:10 pm (UTC)The Cheers gang is conned by Gary's Old Towne Tavern into thinking that McHale had a season-ending injury with a phony x-ray. When McHale walks back into the bar in good health, they hand it to McHale for an explanation. He takes a closer look at the x-ray than they did and says (approximately):
"No, not me. This says 'adult male gorilla.' Could be Laimbeer."
no subject
Date: 2007-05-16 06:00 pm (UTC)Hopefully, todays suspensions of Amare and Diaw(sp?)won't affect these guys too much. Steve Nash...totally the man, the real MVP. (Take that Dirk...you pussy)
East coast...true enough about the boring factor. But if the Spurs should get in by hook and crook, then let them face the Pistons. They're going to get the shit kicked out of their ass.
Kobe...still an ass. Pretentious asshole.
Kisses!!!!
no subject
Date: 2007-05-16 08:25 pm (UTC)I'm at home sick (post coming) so I'll actually get to watch the game tonight. I hope the Spurs become a greasy spot in the floor.
no subject
Date: 2007-05-16 09:02 pm (UTC)The answer to the original question -- how can Phoenix overcome this penalty? -- is that Steve Nash must run. The Suns evened their Western semifinal at 2-2 on San Antonio's floor while playing at the Spurs' restrictive pace, but that won't work this time.
This series has been all about Phoenix since Nash ran nose-first into Tony Parker in the fourth quarter as Game 1 bled away. We know how good the Spurs are -- it will be no surprise should they go on to win their third championship in five years -- but we still don't know how good the Suns can be. Taking good and evil out of it: The Spurs are the mountain that must be conquered, and Nash is Frodo.
The complete article...
http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2007/writers/ian_thomsen/05/16/spurs.suns/index.html
As for me, I've been a Spurs fan and a Suns fan at different times in my life with absolute loyalty to neither, so I'm just hoping for great, competitive games. The suspensions were unjustly applied and have regrettably tainted the de facto NBA Finals.
no subject
Date: 2007-05-16 10:22 pm (UTC)