Musings on love, inspired by Dr. Greg House

[kellinator]

If you saw House last night, then you probably caught the wonderfully charged scene in which House, showing a rare bit of vulnerability, asks Stacy, "I need to know, do you love me or do you hate me?" And she tells him, "I love you and I hate you." Whereas she loves her husband and doesn't hate him; ergo, he wins.

And let's just say it hit really close to home.

Because most of us, I think, have fallen for that guy (or girl) before. The one who drives you absolutely stark-raving batshit insane, but who you can't stay away from anyway. Something keeps you coming back, and if you're honest with yourself, you'll probably admit it's the excitement. Every cranky, obnoxious thing he does makes the moment when he actually acts like a human being all that much sweeter. It's like training an animal: animals are best trained when they're not rewarded every time.

I love to watch House be an irascible bastard every week. I think everyone who has to put up with idiots would like to be House, at least for a day; to be able to tell people exactly how stupid you think they are and get away with it. But no matter how much I may love him for an hour a week, I could never actually put up with him in real life, and even if I could, it would be abusing myself to do it. No matter how appealing that bad boy (or girl) is, no matter how much fun in the short run, in the long run what you need is the good guy, the guy who keeps his promises, the guy who makes you feel safe, the guy who would never go through your medical records because he respects you too much to violate you like that, the guy who would never skewer you just because he thinks it's funny.

And lest any of you think that I'm pointing this at you, let me assure you that the person this is as directed at is myself. As always in this LiveJournal, when I say "you", I mean me.

Comments

[n3m3sis42.livejournal.com]

Nothing is 100% dependable, but if the "safe guys" do the right thing 90% of the time, and the "bad guys" do the right thing 20% of the time (sorry, I just pulled those numbers out of my ass), are the bad guys really better because at least you know you won't get what you want? In my opinion, no. I'd rather deal with disappointment every so often when I don't expect it than know that most of the time, that's all I'm ever going to get. Along with the risk of not having total control/foreknowledge of exactly when I'll be disppointed (i.e. pretty much all the time with the bad ones), I gain the hope that when it really matters, I won't be disappointed.

I'm not saying you're "wrong" or anything, just sharing my perspective because I like to argue. I do see your point to an extent--it's so much more upsetting to be disappointed by someone whom you expect to know better, and I've definitely been there. But anything has a cost, and I'd rather have emotional fulfillment most of the time and be dispppointed sometimes than pretty much come to expect that I'll be disappointed every time. Now, if there are people who feel amotionally fulfilled by being disappointed... what they'd rather have is probably different. :)