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If you saw House last night, then you probably caught the wonderfully charged scene in which House, showing a rare bit of vulnerability, asks Stacy, "I need to know, do you love me or do you hate me?" And she tells him, "I love you and I hate you." Whereas she loves her husband and doesn't hate him; ergo, he wins.
And let's just say it hit really close to home.
Because most of us, I think, have fallen for that guy (or girl) before. The one who drives you absolutely stark-raving batshit insane, but who you can't stay away from anyway. Something keeps you coming back, and if you're honest with yourself, you'll probably admit it's the excitement. Every cranky, obnoxious thing he does makes the moment when he actually acts like a human being all that much sweeter. It's like training an animal: animals are best trained when they're not rewarded every time.
I love to watch House be an irascible bastard every week. I think everyone who has to put up with idiots would like to be House, at least for a day; to be able to tell people exactly how stupid you think they are and get away with it. But no matter how much I may love him for an hour a week, I could never actually put up with him in real life, and even if I could, it would be abusing myself to do it. No matter how appealing that bad boy (or girl) is, no matter how much fun in the short run, in the long run what you need is the good guy, the guy who keeps his promises, the guy who makes you feel safe, the guy who would never go through your medical records because he respects you too much to violate you like that, the guy who would never skewer you just because he thinks it's funny.
And lest any of you think that I'm pointing this at you, let me assure you that the person this is as directed at is myself. As always in this LiveJournal, when I say "you", I mean me.
And let's just say it hit really close to home.
Because most of us, I think, have fallen for that guy (or girl) before. The one who drives you absolutely stark-raving batshit insane, but who you can't stay away from anyway. Something keeps you coming back, and if you're honest with yourself, you'll probably admit it's the excitement. Every cranky, obnoxious thing he does makes the moment when he actually acts like a human being all that much sweeter. It's like training an animal: animals are best trained when they're not rewarded every time.
I love to watch House be an irascible bastard every week. I think everyone who has to put up with idiots would like to be House, at least for a day; to be able to tell people exactly how stupid you think they are and get away with it. But no matter how much I may love him for an hour a week, I could never actually put up with him in real life, and even if I could, it would be abusing myself to do it. No matter how appealing that bad boy (or girl) is, no matter how much fun in the short run, in the long run what you need is the good guy, the guy who keeps his promises, the guy who makes you feel safe, the guy who would never go through your medical records because he respects you too much to violate you like that, the guy who would never skewer you just because he thinks it's funny.
And lest any of you think that I'm pointing this at you, let me assure you that the person this is as directed at is myself. As always in this LiveJournal, when I say "you", I mean me.
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Date: 2005-11-16 06:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-11-16 06:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-11-16 06:09 pm (UTC)I feel you, man. Loving the snarky, bastardy guys is fun drama sometimes, but most of the time, it's just drama...drama and pain and fiery anger.
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Date: 2005-11-16 06:27 pm (UTC)Also, I remain convinced that what Munch really needs is the love of a good woman *COUGH*Kay*COUGH*.
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Date: 2005-11-16 06:31 pm (UTC)Also, yes, Munch and Kay 4EVAH. If I had enough stamina for two ridiculous cop procedural dramas, I'd still SVU solely for Munch.
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Date: 2005-11-16 08:39 pm (UTC)I absolutely love this show and this man and this actor, but I wouldn't want to be involved with him either. However, even though I don't know Munch from the Munchkins, I have to disagree that House's grumpiness doesn't come from his own pain, both physical and emotional. Yeah, he enjoys seeing people squirm with shock and disapproval, but all that snarkiness comes from his own pain which he has to deal with every time he takes a step. I probably would not have gotten that if I hadn't been through my own horrible pain this year, but I now realize what that kind of constant pain does to a person, even a normally cheerful person.
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Date: 2005-11-16 06:10 pm (UTC)I needed that reminder.
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Date: 2005-11-16 06:30 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-11-16 06:22 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-11-16 06:22 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-11-16 06:55 pm (UTC)With House, everything's out in the open. He might focus on work and things that some find silly (like his soap opera thing), and he may avoid speaking about his personal life at all costs, but you know that he's a rulebreaker, he's combustible and snarky, and he'll break every rule in the book to "save" you. No one expects any more of him - Stacy said last night he has the maturity of a 4-year-old. That's why he misbehaves - he doesn't want anyone to expect anything from him or even really like him, so they won't disappoint him. Two people on that show don't buy the act - Wilson and Cameron. And while Cameron may at one time crushed on him because of his heroics, she now loves him because she sees how complex and lonely he truly is.
The good guys, the "safe guys" (gender-neutral on this) are that way because they strive for dependability and respect. But no one can be perfect, and when the "safe guy" inevitably screws up, it's a much more profound hurt than the guys who openly screw up, because 1) they're much more apt to lie and cover up mistakes, and 2) they are less prone to take responsibility. After all, if you actually care about your image and how people perceive you, are you going to show your true humanity?
I don't know - maybe I'm looking at it from a different POV. But I'd rather love the guy who's behavior I can expect. Because the "safe guy" would look through my medical records and then hold onto the info forever without admitting what he's done, and use it for an excuse for more bad behavior. With Dr. House, we'll know next week.
(And BTW, I don't believe House read those records wanting to get info to win Stacy back. He really doesn't want Stacy back, but he wanted some sort of personal confirmation that his "lost love" has regrets. This is a man who only has one real friend in the world, and if anything, it's hope that there's someone else on earth who gives a shit about him, even if they make a point of acting otherwise.)
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Date: 2005-11-16 06:56 pm (UTC)Oops, that was supposed to be he won't disappoint them.
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Date: 2005-11-17 01:04 pm (UTC)I'm not saying you're "wrong" or anything, just sharing my perspective because I like to argue. I do see your point to an extent--it's so much more upsetting to be disappointed by someone whom you expect to know better, and I've definitely been there. But anything has a cost, and I'd rather have emotional fulfillment most of the time and be dispppointed sometimes than pretty much come to expect that I'll be disappointed every time. Now, if there are people who feel amotionally fulfilled by being disappointed... what they'd rather have is probably different. :)
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Date: 2005-11-17 12:57 pm (UTC)