I still can't believe this actually happened.

[kellinator]

I had a bit of an Incident this weekend.

Michael and I decided to go to RuSan's yesterday evening. We were seated at the booth next to three of the loudest, rudest, most pathetic examples of the Frat Boy Stereotype I have ever had the misfortune of encountering, and I went to Vanderbilt so you know that's saying something.

These three were obviously on their way to a truly memorable drinking binge. I'm sure lots of those start at Ru San's. On Friday nights. When the sushi chefs are doing shots of sake with everyone in sight. Not Sunday afternoons when people are there with their kids.

These asshats were slamming their shot glasses on the table to assert their masculinity (and shake our table in the process), earning them the glares of people halfway across the restaurant. They thought it was fun to make fun of their server's accent. They wanted their friends to join them, to the tune of picking up their cell phones and screaming "GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE!!" into them five times in a row. They were quite comfortable in their control of the whole restaurant, including one's God-given right to throw his arms around and poke me in the back any time he felt like it.

They decided their sake bombs were too expensive for the amount of booze they got and demanded to speak to the manager, who sounded very irritated but agreed to give them two dollars off, probably in hopes that they would shut up. As soon as she left, they called her a bitch. They then started complaining about all the weird cartoons.

I had had enough.

Originally I had just planned to content myself with a snarky "congratulations on your graduation from kindergarten" remark on our way out, but my meal was being ruined, and I had a feeling that was nothing compared to the way the evenings of the servers and manager were being ruined. So I wheeled around and asked, if these cartoons were so weird and Japanese people are so strange, then why did you come to RuSan's?

I don't remember everything I said, but I read them the riot act, including the graduation from kindergarten line. I informed them that if they were going to yell, scream and generally behave like Neanderthals, they needed to go back to the frat house. I attempted to avoid profanity, but in the end I told them they were assholes.

It very quickly became clear that since I had had the temerity to say what everyone was thinking but was too pussy to say, we were going to be harrassed for the rest of the meal. I requested our waiter move us, which he did. He very apologetically asked us to let him know if there were any more problems.

The ringleader of the assholes picked that very moment to loudly call me a bitch. I informed the waiter of this.

The staff demanded that the table either apologize to me or leave immediately. They left.

It took a few minutes for my adrenaline to settle down. Michael wasn't thrilled over having to move tables, but told me he was proud of me.

You know these people. They show up all over the place. For whatever reason, they think they own everything they see, and they sincerely believe they are the only people who matter. They make life unpleasant for the people who aren't assholes, but since the people who aren't assholes are trying to be nice and dignified folk who take the high road, they get away with it.

I'm not nice.

Some of you will probably think I overreacted. Part of me wonders if I did overreact. But a much bigger part of me knows that I put up with a lot of shit, and I'll be damned if I, or any of my people, am going to put up with any more shit than I have to because I was too "nice" to say anything about it. And if that makes me a bitch, well, there are worse things than being a bitch.

And I'm proud of myself. Three years ago I never would have been able to do that.

And as for those asshats -- boys, the term "bitch" loses a lot of its power when your friends use the term with affection.

Comments

[shes-precious.livejournal.com]

You bitch, I love you! You rock me.

[branwynelf.livejournal.com]

I don't think you overreacted ... and I'll bet, although you'll never know it for sure, you've emboldened some of the other clients to stand up in the future and tell those around them who are ruining their evening out to shut up.

I think it's grand what you did, and that the staff backed you up for it. Bravo :)

[penguinicity.livejournal.com]

Good on you for adding a bit more civility to the world!

[laurel714.livejournal.com]

shutupjosh told me this weekend that I'm lacking in social skills. Because when a gas station clerk tried to rip me off, I cut her off mid-bitch and simply said, "No." I just don't believe you should have to sugar-coat it for the stupid people. Yay for you standing up to your stupid people!

Overreaction

[groove-haircut.livejournal.com]

I don't think you overreacted. If there was any overreaction (which I already said there wasn't) it was to the proximate cause, but it's justified by the fact that that's a symptom of something far larger. There is an outside chance that the vitriol you showed to these particular schmucks went a little beyond what was necessary in that very specific situation, but it was no doubt fueled by the overall pall of unpleasant assholishness that pervades everything these days. The pricks have taken over, and everyone is too nice to just point out that while the emperor does indeed have clothes on, those clothes make him look like an asshole. We tolerate it, we pat ourselves on the back for not being it, but we let it pass. And maybe it's time we stopped doing so. Doing this takes balls, along with a willingness to put aside our concern for the feelings of the asshole in order to tell them that they are, in fact, an asshole.

Right, anyway, I've completely lost the plot, as usual. Basically, I meant to say "Good on ya." You did a good thing. We need to stop tolerating assholes. I call for sanctions, dammit!

And I owe you some questions... Stay tuned. I've got a couple, but not yet five.

*applause*

[not-hothead-yet.livejournal.com]

welcome to MY world, beeyatch!

W00T!!

[ladylabyrinth.livejournal.com]

You are a total bitch and I think that's about the coolest thing I've heard of anyone doing in too long. I genuflect in your general direction.

But you still need to come over with your man so we at House Erahpe can hang out with yous.

[lula-fortune.livejournal.com]

That KICKS ass. More people need to stand up for themselves and tell folks like that just how stupid they are.

You rule.

[raistlinbrown.livejournal.com]

I say "right on!" to your reaction, and you are certainly not a "bitch" in the non-affectionate sense.

My only caveat for situations like this is that you never know what a bunch of drunk idiots might do when confronted. I'm glad it turned out how it did - that is, more of a "scene" than an "incident."

[hotcoffeems.livejournal.com]

Nope, no overreaction there. Hell, I'm glad someone did it -- those little twerps needed it. Not, sadly, that they'll have learned anything from it, I suspect. However, you did get them kicked out -- which should have happened earlier than that (I suspect management was somewhat relieved to have the "you started shit with another customer" excuse to ask them to leave, since damn skippy they knew they weren't going to apologize.)

You know these people. They show up all over the place. For whatever reason, they think they own everything they see, and they sincerely believe they are the only people who matter. They make life unpleasant for the people who aren't assholes, but since the people who aren't assholes are trying to be nice and dignified folk who take the high road, they get away with it.

Exactly. It reaches the point where if none of us ever say anything, we're just enabling it.

[canciona.livejournal.com]

You rock. And I'm proud of you, too. :)

[paradoxicalme.livejournal.com]

That's awesome! Good for you. :)

yay

[jenbibi.livejournal.com]

i'm glad you did it and deep down, everyone else in that restaurant was thanking you for it too!

bravo!

[tbrents.livejournal.com]

Too bad more people don't do this kind of thing. Maybe then others would have more manners in public.

[jack-mccoy-fan1.livejournal.com]

Good for you Kel!!! You rock the world.

Stupid frat boys, I squish their heads!!! And Zamoboni them, too!!!!

[sempereadem.livejournal.com]

The world always needs more Zambonis!

[trillian42.livejournal.com]

You rock, honey :)

Excellent!

[scarcrest.livejournal.com]

Yeah, it's good that someone had the nerve to put those jackasses in their place. Though they probably just went and made asses of themselves somewhere else before culminating in a drunken circle-jerk to Fox News at the end of the night.

Re: Excellent!

[ariedana.livejournal.com]

Really not wanting to start a fight here, but I've known plenty of southern Democrats that are just as capable of being racist and assholic as conservatives and Republicans.

That's MS. Bitch!

[sempereadem.livejournal.com]

I am so very proud of you. I have a tendency to call people on rude behavior in public, but I doubt I would have done anything that ballsy.

[flewellyn.livejournal.com]

No, you're not "nice". Indeed, I don't think "nice" is something to aspire to. "Nice" means "inoffensive, fitting in, never giving any trouble". This is not something we need in our society; I would say we have too many "nice" people as it is.

I do not try to be "nice" myself. And I certainly don't think you are. You are, if I may say so, intelligent, forthright, compassionate, noble, understanding, courteous (sometimes to a fault!), and assertive. These are things we should aspire to, not being "nice".

So, kudos to you!

Also: are you a member of Heartless Bitches International? There's a bunch of women I respect, and I think they'd love you, if they don't already have you.

[soultoad.livejournal.com]

I love you, girl. :) I'm proud of you, too!

[piratejenny.livejournal.com]

Go you! It really does make you feel better to finally have the ability to say something to asshats, doesn't it?

[ariedana.livejournal.com]

Good for you for standing up to jerks and not just mouthing off behind their backs. It's disrespectful for them to be so disruptive that they're ruining other people's (expensive) dinners, and someone needed to let them know that. And good for the management for standing up to them when they called you that name. I just wish that I had half the balls that you have and were able to stand up to people nearly as well as you.

[eudaimonia.livejournal.com]

I was waiting for the ending where you say "...and the rest of the restaurant patrons burst into applause, culminating into a standing ovation". That's what should have happened.

[10dimensions.livejournal.com]

That's exactly what I was thinking!

[amenquohi.livejournal.com]

I only hope someday to be as big a "bitch" as you. You SO rock.

[katyakoshka.livejournal.com]

1. Niceness is bullshit. Courtesy and kindness are not. Calling people on their bullshit is not. Considering how they were disrupting the bulk or the whole of the restaurant, their bullshit needed calling.

2. Kick fucking ASS.

3. Quite impressed, and glad to e-know you!

4. In other words, no, you didn't overreact. Nothing less than a complete ripping-of-new-asshole would probably have started getting their drunken attention. (No, they do not deserve dr0nk. Only fun people get dr0nk.) Your outburst might have helped fuel the staff's willingness to get them out of their, as they were the instigators of the entire incident, and you weren't wrong in what you said.

5. Kudos.