Getting things backwards
Jul. 24th, 2003 04:04 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kellinatorIt hit me yesterday:
When I was a teenager in high school, I went to class, studied, went to band practice, went to club meetings, went to work. That was pretty much all I did. And pretty much all I thought about was how to get a good scholarship so I could go to a good college and become a fine upstanding member of society. I was on the right track: I got good grades and generally acted responsibly.
Basically, I was a little grownup.
Now I'm 25. I'm out every night, I get in trouble with my parents for not calling home often enough, I spend money irresponsibly, I dye my hair odd colors. The things in life that currently get most of my attention are boys, booze, comic books, LiveJournal, Homicide, and what am I going to do for fun this weekend.
Basically, I've become a teenager.
When I was a teenager in high school, I went to class, studied, went to band practice, went to club meetings, went to work. That was pretty much all I did. And pretty much all I thought about was how to get a good scholarship so I could go to a good college and become a fine upstanding member of society. I was on the right track: I got good grades and generally acted responsibly.
Basically, I was a little grownup.
Now I'm 25. I'm out every night, I get in trouble with my parents for not calling home often enough, I spend money irresponsibly, I dye my hair odd colors. The things in life that currently get most of my attention are boys, booze, comic books, LiveJournal, Homicide, and what am I going to do for fun this weekend.
Basically, I've become a teenager.
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no subject
Date: 2003-07-24 06:30 pm (UTC)And think to myself...
Oh my god, I'm a grown-up! This is what a grown-up is! I had no idea...
I expected it to be different somehow. More, I dunno... Maybe less? Less silliness. More stability.
The silliness abounds and the stability... well, that revolves around my inner sense of who I am. I can't base it on what the world thinks of me, or what my blood family thinks of me, or what my friends think of me, or what my family-family (yano, that thing you build out of people who are more than just friends, but life partners, including the SO of course) thinks of me. I Do take into account what they all think (starting backwards in order or importance, with first being least important, and last being most important). But... Really, I just take each day as it comes. Am I basically getting what I want out of life? Am I doing the things I want to be doing?
Right now, what I want most, my big huge goals:
A job for Chris
Canvas (for painting) for me
Down the line a kitten, and a baby and so forth. I was flirting with the idea of starting a new cult religion that will help the sheep be less miserable and less of a nuisance in everyones (everyone = all the people I designate as important, which generally translates as all the smart people, but not the only criteria for "peoplehood") lives. Oh, and make fabulously wealthy. That'd be ultra cool.