Getting things backwards

[kellinator]

It hit me yesterday:

When I was a teenager in high school, I went to class, studied, went to band practice, went to club meetings, went to work. That was pretty much all I did. And pretty much all I thought about was how to get a good scholarship so I could go to a good college and become a fine upstanding member of society. I was on the right track: I got good grades and generally acted responsibly.

Basically, I was a little grownup.

Now I'm 25. I'm out every night, I get in trouble with my parents for not calling home often enough, I spend money irresponsibly, I dye my hair odd colors. The things in life that currently get most of my attention are boys, booze, comic books, LiveJournal, Homicide, and what am I going to do for fun this weekend.

Basically, I've become a teenager.

Comments

[dellaran.livejournal.com]

I have a bit of the same problem... I'm trying to make up for a misspent youth full of quiet study and responsible behavior. Better late than never!

[soulfire.livejournal.com]

Some of us are still wondering how the hair turned out and for photographic proof :)

[astrophysicat.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I have a bit of the same thing. I wanted to be a teenager when I was one, but between not a soul being attracted to me, and really not having any friends who went out and partied, there wasn't much to do but track, cross-country, plays and school. I remember getting to college, and realizing that getting into the best school I could was my goal for so long that I didn't know what to do now. (that feeling lasted about 2 days before I found new goals).

But the letting your hair down you're doing now really is a 20-something 30-something thing. Or at least appears it if you look around at most 25 year olds.

But yeah, I couldn't even be as much of a geek as I wanted to be in high school, I didn't have friends who "gamed" or role-played. So, I'm finally letting out my inner nerd. Now that's what I call scary.

[polychromatic22.livejournal.com]

Sometimes I stop. Just, stop.

And think to myself...

Oh my god, I'm a grown-up! This is what a grown-up is! I had no idea...

I expected it to be different somehow. More, I dunno... Maybe less? Less silliness. More stability.

The silliness abounds and the stability... well, that revolves around my inner sense of who I am. I can't base it on what the world thinks of me, or what my blood family thinks of me, or what my friends think of me, or what my family-family (yano, that thing you build out of people who are more than just friends, but life partners, including the SO of course) thinks of me. I Do take into account what they all think (starting backwards in order or importance, with first being least important, and last being most important). But... Really, I just take each day as it comes. Am I basically getting what I want out of life? Am I doing the things I want to be doing?


Right now, what I want most, my big huge goals:

A job for Chris
Canvas (for painting) for me

Down the line a kitten, and a baby and so forth. I was flirting with the idea of starting a new cult religion that will help the sheep be less miserable and less of a nuisance in everyones (everyone = all the people I designate as important, which generally translates as all the smart people, but not the only criteria for "peoplehood") lives. Oh, and make fabulously wealthy. That'd be ultra cool.

[bouncepogo.livejournal.com]

Stop being my twin!!!

[whysoblue.livejournal.com]

I'm exactly the same! I didn't start drinking until after I was legal. I never tried certain inhalable items until after I had graduated college. Started smoking? Last year. I was 24 when I ditched professional aspirations, picked up and moved cross country. How do I spend my free time (other than with the boyfriend)? Making zines and playing in a band. I wear my converse shoes to work.

I wouldn't have it any other way, though. I can't imagine I'd be nearly as happy if I had stayed a grownup.

[autumn-stars.livejournal.com]

Ya know, I had that exact same realization about myself last summer.

In high school I was one of the "good kids".. one of the kids eveyrone's parents (mine included) trusted and depended on. I was the designated driver, the cab service, and the one to call when someone needed to know "where is my kid?"..

And now I cackle at the thought of being ANY of those things.. muahahahahahahahaaa!

Welcome to being a teenager. Nice of you to join the club. *giggle*

[kittybecca.livejournal.com]

I did the same thing, too. ^_^