Wanted: Your dirty jokes!!

[kellinator]

As some of you know, I, along with jerseygirl1, wandergirl, and jplantyhamchuk, visit a gentleman named Tim. Tim has a degenerative mitochondrial disease (as described in this article: http://www.atlanta.creativeloafing.com/2003-01-22/cover.html ; I'm actually the "Georgia State researcher" mentioned in the first paragraph, though I'm not really), which means he can't move or speak, but his mind is fine. He communicates with us through moving his eyes. Occasionally if he likes something he will break into a wonderful smile. I'll never forget how happy I was the first time I got him to smile.

Well, this is all a roundabout way of saying... Tim loves dirty jokes. I showed him the South Park movie last night and he grinned through "Uncle Fucker." Unfortunately, my stock of dirty jokes is depleted. Help me out, please?

Comments

[azurelunatic]

Well... there's this horse. And he's owned by this guy who runs a bar. And the thing of it is, that this horse won't smile. So this guy figures he can make some money off this, so he ties the horse up in the bar, and puts up a sign: $10 a chance to make the horse smile.

And the deal is, the winner splits the pot with the barman, and things are going pretty good -- nobody's managed to make the horse laugh. They've tickled him, told him absolutely hilarious jokes (even the one from Monty Python, which should have killed the poor thing)... nothing works.

Until one day, this guy comes in, puts a ten in the jar, and whispers in the horse's ear.

The horse laughs.

Guy takes his half of the money and leaves.



Horse is still laughing. A day later, the horse is still laughing. A week. So the barman's getting a little worried, but he figures, hey, another venture to exploit, and he puts up a second sign. $20 to make the horse cry.

And people come. And they poke the horse. They tell it sad stories. They show it Titanic. Nothing works. Horse is still laughing.

So then this same guy comes back in, puts a twenty in the jar, and says, "Can you give me a moment alone for this?" So he takes the horse in the back, and when they come out a minute later, the horse is bawling. Inconsolable.

Guy splits up the jar with the barman and goes to leave. The barman stops him, says, "I've got to know: What did you say?"

And the guy says, "Well, first, I told him that I've got a bigger dick than he does. And then -- I showed him."