Meaningless list time

Let's see, I could make a deep and thoughtful post about my inner feelings, or a dumbass list.

Dumbass lists win every time.

Things That Are Overrated

University of Tennessee football.
Picture phones.
Closure.
The Los Angeles Lakers.
Sex.
J-Lo's ass.
Behaving yourself.
Beer.
Grad school.
Being a workaholic.

I know I had more, but I've forgotten them. Something else that's overrated: my memory.

When I said I wanted to be a superhero, this wasn't what I had in mind.

I've discovered that I have a superpower. Somebody get me Xavier's number and a funky costume.

The only problem is, I can't, like, move things with my mind or shoot energy blasts or drink fifteen Long Island Iced Teas and not get a hangover. No, I have one of the useless superpowers. I walk into a room and the rules of logic stop applying.

And of course, I can't control it. It could potentially be pretty cool to make the laws of logic stop applying at will and make them act to my advantage. Sort of like, "Here, The Cheat! Have a trophy!" Only I think I'd hold out for money and adulation. But no. Instead, weird shit happens. Like, I could totally write a novel about my life and publishers would say "this is way too far-fetched." All I'm missing are the aliens. And a shrubbery.

Anyway, this is why you'll frequently hear me roll my eyes and mutter "There is no logic in Kelly-world."