kellinator: (Bridezilla by helichrysm)
[personal profile] kellinator
As most of you have no doubt noticed by now, I love The Trash. There's something in me that not only just can't look away from a metaphorical trainwreck, but presses my nose up against the glass to get a better look. And I have discovered the Unholy Grail of trash TV: Bridezillas.

It's James' fault, really. We were in Target recently when we noticed how cheap the Bridezilla DVD was and he said, probably jokingly, "You could get that to show you what not to do." I don't think he expected me to have a Monday and decide that was a good idea. I watched the first two episodes last night.

(By the way, just in case you were wondering, James has declined to join me in my mock-the-stupid glee on this one. As it stands, I have to write him the Flavor of Love Drinking Game by Sunday if I want to watch the ghettofabulousness in peace. Expect a post on that this week.)

Wow. This shit is AWESOME. I mean, it's awful, but it's awesome. I think my favorite part was the 19-year-old bride with the "potty mouth," as the announcer titters. Because everyone knows that nice girls don't swear. Actually, you know, the show is most amusing to me not so much for the crazy brides (though 19-year-old child bride was plenty crazy, don't get me wrong) but for the schoolmarm voiceovers.

And then it occurred to me:

I would totally be the best Bridezilla ever.

I mean, look at it. Reality shows tend to boil a person down to a few trainwrecky qualities -- foulmouthed, immature, spoiled. Well, here I am. I'd be the foulmouthed, lazy, fat drunk bride with the redneck family!

I can imagine it now:

Announcer: The frazzled bride, in the depths of despair, turns to drink and wild partying.
Me: Awww hell no! We do this [BLEEP] every Friday night!

Seriously, I'd totally do it to cover wedding costs. It would be fun to fuck with these people!

true story

Date: 2006-08-01 06:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] oletheros.livejournal.com
fox contacted us because they wanted to film our wedding for their reality show "weirdest, wildest and freakiest weddings." they were going to pay us $5000 to follow us around and film us, so we said yes.

a week or two later, they called to tell us that they were changing the name of the show to "weirdest, wildest and tackiest weddings," at which point we declined any further participation.

Re: true story

Date: 2006-08-01 06:19 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kellinator.livejournal.com
Probably a very wise move on your part. I'm a whore though. I'd do it for $5000. I'd draw the line at getting married under my parents' gazebo that has an old satellite dish for a roof though.

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