Reality check

[kellinator]

After the travails of this morning, I was lucky enough to find the latest issue of Sports Illustrated to read during my lunch break, and guess what's on the first few pages? Photos from the Paralympic Games. An archer aiming with his mouth. A man with one leg riding a bicycle. A man with no legs swimming.

I'm skeptical about the whole other-people-have-it-worse-so-suck-it-up line of thinking sometimes. The fact that other people are going through hells a thousand times worse doesn't make your own problems go away when you're in the thick of them, and I really do think it's okay for us to feel our emotions without beating ourselves up over whether we have the right to feel that way. But... it's also important sometimes to step back and really look at what we have. If I don't like being a shadow person at work, what must it be like for the custodial staff? I'm from a blue-and-pink-collar home, I strongly believe that all work is honorable, but how much respect do they really get treated with? One of my co-workers mentioned that some people seem to make themselves feel bigger and better by abusing people they think will have to put up with it. It seems like the opposite should be the rule.

Do me a favor today. Be nice to someone you don't know. Or someone you know who isn't expecting it.

I know that I'll still get pissed when people are rude to me at work. But I have my health, I'm not hungry or homeless or in physical danger, my life is much more good than bad, and I can call some truly beautiful souls my friends. I'm blessed.

Comments

[nyxalinth.livejournal.com]

I agree with you on the whole thing of 'other people have it worse than you', especially given my situation. A well-meaning friend or two occasionally try this on me. Finally, I pointed out that the fact that I have it better than many (i am in shelter, I have a job, no major health issues, etc.) makes my own situation hurt no less.

[kellinator.livejournal.com]

If I were in your shoes and somebody said that to me, I'd be pretty damn pissed. I hope things are much better for you soon. *hugs*

[10dimensions.livejournal.com]

And hey, other people don't have rumtinis!

Yes, I do have work I should be doing, why do you ask? ;)

[underwhelming.livejournal.com]

Great post. I spend more time talking to the people who clean our building than my co-workers. For one, they're interesting, they're not fake-ass, and no one else talks to them, or if they do, it's like "Don't forget to dust". I don't deserve any badges for talking to them, but I think they appreciate it. God knows I would if I had to clean up after these fools. Gotta say it took them awhile to realize that I wasn't just small talking because I felt sorry for them, or was "trying to keep it real". I always tell them, "If you were here during the day, you wouldn't wanna talk to me."

[polychromatic22.livejournal.com]

I've always managed to be first name basis coworkery with our janitorial staff at the store I work at. Noone else bothers, they don't precisely work for us, so much as their company who we pay, and I guess for the other staff I work with they just don't feel that they *are* coworkers, or something...
I dunno. They're nice people. They work hard. Only an hour or so of work at our store, but it's every single day. And then they go onto the next job they have.

If I'm human to them, they're human to me. Fuck the hand that rocks the cradle, the hand that takes out the garbage rules the world. Be nice to the cleaning lady, she can make your life suck, hard.

All of that aside, it's been hardest with the newest cleaning lady. She's slightly borderline developmentally dysfunctional, and is *way* too enthusiastic. It's a lot to deal with at the buttcrack of dawn. She means well, just answering the exact same questions 5 times in a row every single day sorta gets to you. She's nice though.

I do miss our old cleaning staff a lot... Stephanie and Josiah. Stephanie retired to New orleans (yay! good for her) and Josiah went back to bartending because the money was too good. I missed them and talking to them in the morning, and our bathroom smelled horrible for nearly a year until we got staff that knew how/wanted to clean it properly.

Once again, I strike with meaningless blather. Sorry.

[sujata.livejournal.com]

Do me a favor today. Be nice to someone you don't know. Or someone you know who isn't expecting it.

I'm so proud I can claim you as a friend. :-)

I love you, Kells!
*BIG HUG*,
Molly

[mellowdramamama.livejournal.com]

Well said and ABSOLUTELY true!

[harleen.livejournal.com]

it's funny...Court is autistic, but every time I go to her school and see some of the other children in wheelchairs with severe disabilities, I start thinking how lucky she is that she "only" has autism....

yet at the same time, she is still autistic, and seeing these other children does nothing to change her situation....I don't know if she will ever be able to go to college and have the same opportunities as other kids her age....

it's such a double-edged sword to me....

I hope this makes sense!!

[grunion.livejournal.com]

My mother in law tried the "see? That family has it MUCH worse than we do..." line on me just the other day (it's not tough when you're surrounded by quads and paras all day). The instructor for our 'Family Training', a nurse whose father is a para and happened to be at Shepherd for his treatment/rehab, interrupted her conversation, walked over and said "It's true, their lives may actually be more difficult than yours - their loss more severe. What that doesn't mean is that you've not been devistated. 'Suck it up, they have it worse' is usually a sure way to make sure you allow your condition to BECOME worse."

Yeah, it wasn't life changing wisdom, but it was pretty good, and it stopped my mother-in-law in her tracks. Usually it takes me a few witty retorts or at least a couple harsh glares, so doing it in just a few lines is GENIUS!

[flewellyn.livejournal.com]

Yeah, some of us with disabilities hate that "other people have it worse" line. We also hate the "supercrip" line, wherein they point to someone with a disability doing something amazing, such as being a no-legged swimmer, and then expect everyone else with a disability to be able to do that!

"If they can do it, you should be able to!" It's not true, though. It never has been true.

[chicating.livejournal.com]

ITA,
And my disability has not put a dent in my ability to be a wiseass malcontent with authority issues large enough to choke a shetland.It did stop me from "taking all those drugs and damaging my brain." cause it's too late already.
I am not inspirational! I am not Montel Williams! Don't expect me to tell sappy stories like Montel Williams! I am not Montel Williams!
Because he is a "brother" now, and hell, I just couldn't resist.;)

[christikr.livejournal.com]

I like this post. I do agree, there's nothing wrong with venting and we shouldn't be fed the "starving kids in Africa" line if we're dealing with a breakup and a credit card bill.

But I do know I'm pretty lucky most of the time.

[zanzara.livejournal.com]

Beautiful post.

I agree with every word.