In lieu of actual content, linkage!

[kellinator]

Courtesy of my darling cousin ariedana, who obviously is out to endanger my life, Wonkette's Debate Drinking Game. It's a damn good thing I'm not planning on being home tomorrow night, because playing this game would leave me either dead of alcohol poisoning or in jail or both.

The author of that apalling piece of antifeminist tripe known as The Rules blames her divorce on bad dental work. Hey, I think I just started believing in karma again!

The Barenaked Ladies are developing a variety show for Fox. I adore the Barenaked Ladies, and their live skits are hysterical, so it's great to see this as a possibility. But since Fox is involved, it'll probably be either really really good and cancelled within five minutes or really really really mind-numbingly soul-suckingly bad.

S.E. Hinton gives up teen lit for sex and vampires. Was everyone in your middle school totally obsessed with The Outsiders, or was that just me?

Order of the Stick: your latest dose of gaming webcomic fun.

Everyone and their brother has already posted this but I can't help myself. Daily Show's "stoned slackers" are not only better educated, they're better informed. Too bad they didn't ask Fox News viewers some questions about Iraq and 9/11 so we could all laugh at them again.

Comments

[flewellyn.livejournal.com]

I never read "The Rules"...what is it that makes it so bad?

congratulations!

[not-hothead-yet.livejournal.com]

You are the first person I have ever heard admit that they haven't read "The Rules" and question why it is bad.

I read the first book (out of curiousity) and discovered lots of evil advice such as "if you work on making yourself happy, men will naturally be attracted to you" and "if you live your life as if having a man doesn't matter, then after a while it will become true. Ironicly, this will make you more attractive to the kind of men you'd like to meet"

"The Rules" was all about the concept of "fake it til you make it" regarding the attempt to live your life as if having Mr Right didn't matter. Many women were offended at the idea that a woman should have to act a certain way to "catch" a man. Mostly though, women were offended that such a book was even written in the first place with the stated intention being "to marry Mr Right" because you know, any woman who is considering getting married and wants to increase her chances of finding a good match MUST be an idiot and a horrendous person. Funny thing is, whenever I'd talk to a woman about that book, she'd rail about how awful it was and the confess she hadn't read a word of it! Once I mentioned some of what is in the book, most women I talked to wanted to read it!

Re: congratulations!

[rocketmelee.livejournal.com]

Actually, I read The Rules, as I have a strict rule about understanding things that I despise. You're forgetting to mention a few things, some silly, some lame, and some despicable.

Let me highlight some of the ridiculous and amusing(yet very creepy, at least to people who pay attention to the ideologies that women have been enculturated with) for those folks who haven't read Th Rules and don't know much about them.

The Rules states that:

Women following the rules are not allowed to talk to men first. They are not allowed to look directly at men or talk too much, but instead are to smile generally at the room. Gee, that sounds like a swell evening to me...

There is NEVER to be any meeting halfway or going dutch. How very practical. Unfortunately, I tend to be a considerate person. And I only wear my Golddigger shirt ironically.

No kissing for awhile, absolutely NO sex before marriage, let him call all of the shots, never tell him what to do, keep anything negative to yourself even if it applies to whatever guy you are trying to snare. Why, how healthy! How could this possibly result in emotional disaster?

Don't tell your therapist about The Rules. Ignore family and friends who suggest The Rules aren't healthy. Distance yourself from those who are unsupportive. Again, how healthy! Seems sort of cult like to me in this respect.

"Use an egg timer to limit your phone calls" Ah, the maturity... if only I had an egg timer, I could be married right now!

The entire book advocates a large amount of deciet, hair flicking, and skirt hitching. An inordinant amount, actually. Forgive me for not buying the idea that such things are what beget good matches and successful relationships.

Oh! And doing the laundry of the guy that you're trying to snare! How could I have forgotten that one...

Re: congratulations!

[not-hothead-yet.livejournal.com]

As I understood it, the whole point of "The Rules" was to combat the masses of women who fervently want to find Mr Right and engage in "desperate" actions/tactics that don't work to "snare" him.

The fact is, as just about any man will tell you, calling someone constantly, focusing all your attention on someone as if he were the most incredible creature in the room, gabbing incessantly about yourself and your problems and basically acting as if you NEED this person is nothing but a turn-off. The fact is, LOTS of women project an air of "I NEED you" when dating a man and are ready to give themselves over totally very early in the relationship. "The Rules" was a simplistic way of dealing with this problem. As I said, the philosophy is "Fake it til you make it" meaning if you can't BE happy without a man, at least ACT happy without a man and eventually you'll find your self BEING happy without a man and thus a decent man will be attracted to you because you are a complete person. Any woman who is self-assured and complete in and of herself doesn't need "The Rules" and I believe they state that quite clearly in the beginning of the book. Like it or not, there's still LOTS of women who have not gotten to that point yet. They are the ones who need to be coached and guided towards having a more fulfilling life before "getting" a man. The book was written with them in mind. It teaches insecure women how to get to a place of self-assuredness by enticing them with the promise of finally landing a good man. Deceit? I suppose you could call it that, but what do you suggest a women inculcated with the notions of "you are nothing wihtout a man" do to get over that notion? Go to counselling until she's "better"? Most people don't want to wait that long to be ready for a decent relationship. Pretending to be a self-assured person (someone with confidence and decent self-esteem) eventually gets to you BE someone with self-assuredness and self-esteem. Maybe you don't need that kind of coaching; good for you. Lots of women DO need it though, as sad as that is.
I did not NEED "The Rules" at all but I found it nice that someone wrote it.

Re: congratulations!

[rocketmelee.livejournal.com]

Baloney. Yes, there are needy people out there. Do you really think that encouraging them to play head games until they find a man who will play is healthy? Or a good idea?

I'm sorry someone wrote this book. It's good for a laugh, but it is potentially quite damaging to the women who buy into it.

Re: congratulations!

[flewellyn.livejournal.com]

I'm sensing a great deal of disagreement here. :-)

I suppose I could find a copy at the library or book store, and flip through it quickly to sample it. One does not have to eat all of an egg to know it's bad, after all...

Re: congratulations!

[rocketmelee.livejournal.com]

I would definitely recommend flipping through it. People either love it or hate it -- but even if you hate it, it really is (unintentionally) funny as hell in many places.

Re: congratulations!

[flewellyn.livejournal.com]

Well, my motto is "I'll try anything once, except sodomy and voting Republican."

Re: congratulations!

[deza.livejournal.com]

Sodomy is actually rather fun if you do it right.

Re: congratulations!

[rocketmelee.livejournal.com]

*double snerk*
And now I may have to friend you both.

Re: congratulations!

[deza.livejournal.com]

I still don't recommend voting Republican, though. ;)

Re: congratulations!

[rocketmelee.livejournal.com]

*snerk*

And now I may have to friend you.

[rocketmelee.livejournal.com]

Lots. The Rules is entirely about modifying your behavior in order to cater to men and snag a husband as quickly as possible.

...

Did you ever see any of those 1950's/1960's marriage guides or home ec text book chapters? The ones that urge you to get all of the house work done promptly (in pearls!), make sure to have a drink ready when Mr. Right gets home, make sure the children are silent, well-groomed, and only trotted out briefly during your cooked from scratch dinner, and make sure that you are always smiling, fetching pipes and slippers, and making sure that you never complain or cause discord? Same idea.

quite the opposite

[not-hothead-yet.livejournal.com]

"The Rules" is about not throwing yourself at a man and not being his sex slave or lapdog. It is about attempting to live without the desperate need for a man. It is about turning yourself into a woman who is complete without a man.
So far as "catering", I didn't see hardly anything that could be considered "catering" in it. I saw some advice that tries to show that a man's needs can be different from a woman's and thus you should be willing to adjust your behavior accordingly.

Re: quite the opposite

[rocketmelee.livejournal.com]

It also says things like "Don't be hefty", "Overweight is not The Rules", and "If you have a bad nose, get a nose job".

It's about game playing, and it's about dishonesty. It's about reinforcing stereotypes. And personally, I would never want to be with the kind of narcissist that I would attract by following The Rules.

[deza.livejournal.com]

The Rules caters to the idea that we can all be Donna Reed. The authors, rather like my mother and the Donna Reed tv character, have never left the 1950s.