Bad vibes

[kellinator]

I wonder what it is about us that makes us have instant, visceral reactions to people we don't know.

(Context: A law alum just came in looking for my boss and complaining about a fine. Something about her put me off immediately. It was probably the bitching about the fine, but I digress.)

Sometimes back when I was working at Crystal Blue I'd be waiting on someone and I'd just get really creeped out and uncomfortable. Of course, this being Crystal Blue, I could just mutter something about bad energy and one of my co-workers would rescue me.

But what is it that sometimes gives us an instant bad reaction to a person we know not at all? Is it just giving in to our base prejudices, like mine against whiny lawyers? Or are we maybe, just maybe, picking up on something? What's the saying? Ah, here it is:

"Trust your hunches. They're usually based on facts filed away just below the conscious level." ~Joyce Brothers

Ah Google, how I heart thee.

Comments

[renaissancekat.livejournal.com]

I was contemplating this last night. There is a guy who regularly plays at the poker tournaments I attend and I just don't like him. At all. So I remember that fact and try not to let it affect my play.

[n3m3sis42.livejournal.com]

I believe in "energy," personally. Some people exude negative energy. Some others maybe just exude an energy that is less than compatible with your own. Some people are more sensitive to other people's energy than others, but we all have some ability to pick up on it. Now I soudn like a crazy person, but there ya go.

[lula-fortune.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I believe that's the case. Call it Aura or Energy, or what-you-want, some people give off a crapload of negativity and it's eady to pick up on and get all ooged out over it.

I usually just say I'm getting a bad vibe off that one... and try to stay away. :)

[n3m3sis42.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I'm pretty sensitive to other people's energy, but I also have a B.A. in Psychology and experience working in the mental health field, so some of that may also be due to picking up tiny behavioral cues. I do feel I was fairly "energy-sensitive" before all that, too, though.

[streamweaver.livejournal.com]

To a point this could be true but you would also be mindful of the fact that you often find what you look for. Balance those two and you'll probably do well with people without undercutting yourself with a bitter world view.

[canciona.livejournal.com]

You know, it's odd, but on more than one occasion I've gotten really "don't like them" vibes when first meeting someone, and then spent some time with them and gotten to be really good friends. Not always, of course. But more than once or twice.

But it could be that my "radar"'s just completely defective, too. :)

[flewellyn.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I've often found myself getting a "vibe" off of folks.

Sometimes, I'm wrong. Often, though...well, see my latest Snark for details.

[misanthropist.livejournal.com]

You say you don't like the person at all, even though you know nothing about them...but then you mention about how you hate lawyers. So, you knew something.

Far more inexplicable is when you just don't like someone from looking at them. Which happens, believe me. Maybe they share a facial (or any) feature with someone you disliked with good cause.

I don't trust my hunches. They're mostly worthless (at least mine are). We just think our hunches deliver the goods because we remember the times when our hunches were right ("I KNEW he was a bad person!") and tend to forget the many, many, many more times our hunches were wrong.

[azurelunatic]

Sometimes, prejudices are there for a reason -- not all of them, but somewhere in our back-mind we've put together the fact that this and that usually mean that things go poorly with these people afterwards.

[azurelunatic]

And then there are some people who broadcast to share with others what kind of a day they are having. One of my co-workers and friends does this. Two of them, actually. When they are having a really good day, they are a positive joy to be around. When they are having the shitty day from hell, you do too.

[ardentdelirium.livejournal.com]

Im reading yet another charles de lint book, about a girl who was created on the internet (but is real, 3d, living life) and a lot of people, upon meeting her, get totally creeped out and decide she is a cold fish or a jerk or whatever--she makes them uncomfortable because her aura/energy/whatever is brighter than people are used to. so brighter (or, I imagine, darker) auras/whatever could be it. some subconscious part of you recognizes that there's something not quite normal and that bugs you.

[fairylogic.livejournal.com]

I'm reading that same book right now!

I love Charles De Lint....

[ardentdelirium.livejournal.com]

ooh me too! A friend of mine reccomended him to me like 2 months ago and I've been getting a book or 2 per visit to the library since. I'm almost through with the ones they have at the local branch. Have you read any of the ones he's published under his pen name? They're more horror-ish, and the one I've read so far (Mulengro, which is also published under de lint now) was really good.

[fairylogic.livejournal.com]

I haven't read that one yet, but I think I saw it last time I went to the library. I've been working my way through the Newford books for a while now. I just finished "Somewhere to be Flying" which was awesome. I love the mythology he's created and how all of the books are interwoven. What all have you read so far?

[ardentdelirium.livejournal.com]

(I'm lazy, so cutting and pasting titles from his website, bear with all the capitals, please)
MULENGRO: A ROMANY TALE, GREENMANTLE, SPIRITWALK, MEMORY AND DREAM(Ithink--if not, its one the library has that I'm planning on doing soon), THE IVORY AND THE HORN, FORESTS OF THE HEART, THE ONION GIRL, TAPPING THE DREAM TREE, and I have Seven Wild Sisters and Spirit in the Wires out now

[fairylogic.livejournal.com]

Hmmm, there are a few in there I haven't heard of. So far I've read The Onion Girl, Dreams Underfoot, Moonlight and Vines, The Ivory and the Horn, Someplace to be Flying, and I'm now reading Spirits in the Wires. Also a handful of short stories in various anthologies. I might have missed a few, but the man has written so much I don't think I'll ever run out of new things to read!

[fanagle.livejournal.com]

Interesting. I babysat a child that gave off horrible vibes. It didn't get any better once I knew the kid, but that's neither here nor there. Old people would frown at him, other kids would hit him, and random animals would bite him.

[sertrel.livejournal.com]

That visceral feeling is often a cause of a lot of guilt for me... In several instances, I have despised an individual who really was a nice and considerate person, just something about their voice, their demeanor, they way they carried themselves just really put me off. In both cases, the person just seemed obnoxious and everyone hated them, but when you broke it down, they were trying to be nice, not obnoxious at all. Ah well.

[mizdandylynn.livejournal.com]

For some people.. there is no reason..

but for most of us who are in tune with things.. we learn to trust our guts. I have learned over the years to know my instinct.. and follow them strongly. I have never been proven wrong.