*sigh*

[kellinator]

In an attempt to deal with my work frustrations, I've been thumbing through a book titled Dealing with Difficult People in the Library.

The book is making me kind of depressed. Its advice in many places is basically the library is a public service, so suck it up. The example given is the cranky dad who rushes in three minutes before the library closes because his kid has a report due the next day. The librarian stays late to help the guy, who as he leaves is bitching because it took so long to get some books. My blood just boils reading that, but the book's only real advice is "don't take it personally." Oh, and the more people abuse you, the more you should suck up to them to "prove that you're listening to them as a person."

Am I expecting too much in thinking that people should be polite? That people should take responsibility for their own actions? Am I an idealist? An elitist? A fucking hypocrite because I can be plenty rude when I want to be?

Maybe I'm just not cut out for a service industry. Then again, I don't think I know anyone who is.

Comments

[stevietee.livejournal.com]

If it weren't for the patrons, being a librarian would be great!

[spiritchaser1.livejournal.com]

YES! That is what I always say!

If it weren't for LJ for me to type out rants about this place, I would probably go all stabby a few times a month.

[kellinator.livejournal.com]

"Go stabby" is such a great phrase. And descriptive!

[stevietee.livejournal.com]

That's what I was thinking! Made me laugh out loud. :)

[spiritchaser1.livejournal.com]

heehee. My slogan/resolution for this year has been:

No Stabby in '04!

It's June and I've kept to it, so I consider that a personal victory. :)

[kellinator.livejournal.com]

Aw shit, now I want to be Dante the Librarian...

Imagine Clerks in a library. I must write this.

[deza.livejournal.com]

I've got it about halfway done. :)

[kellinator.livejournal.com]

Sadly so... what happened to them?

[malinaldarose.livejournal.com]

People, whether it was teachers, or parents or Sunday school teachers or whoever, stopped teaching manners to children. I can't be rude to people (intentionally) to save my life. But I was taught how to behave properly -- and walloped (or grounded or whatever) if I didn't.

i'm a service person too...

[jenbibi.livejournal.com]

and all i can say is that years at working with people has taught me more patience and kindness. you never know when you can make someone's day with something little. i always tip big and use my please and thank yous, and if i'm really pissed off, i try to be funny to mask it. but sometimes you have to let in on them.

but for you being a librarian, i think you should get an award. i've worked in libraries and bookstores and that's way harder then a lot of other jobs.

so i'll send you love and good wishes for nice patrons!

Re: i'm a service person too...

[kellinator.livejournal.com]

Awww, you are so incredibly sweet! Thank you! *hug*

Re: i'm a service person too...

[10dimensions.livejournal.com]

That icon looks like you!

[yendi]

Out of curiosity, was this book written by a real librarian, or by a nasty parent with a habit of running into the library right before closing and bitching about stuff?

[kellinator.livejournal.com]

He claims to be a real librarian, but forgive me for having my doubts.

[gaiagurl.livejournal.com]

it's my belief that the "suck it up" theory is all wrong. when you let customers get away with being a little bit rude to you, eventually they ramp up to being extremely rude and then you have things going on like the shopper's rage in the uk where customers actually attack employees. physically.

[kellinator.livejournal.com]

I keep attempting to explain this to higher-ups, but no one wants to listen.

[sempereadem.livejournal.com]

God damn you, Selfridges!!

[kellinator.livejournal.com]

What's Selfridges?

[sempereadem.livejournal.com]

The guy that started the Selfridges store in England was the guy who started the whole "The customer is always right" idea.

I'd like to beat him with a coat hanger.

[sempereadem.livejournal.com]

http://www.selfridges.co.uk/

[phinnia.livejournal.com]

The library itself may be a public service, true. That doesn't mean the /librarians/ are. Why should someone stay late to deal with a nasty parent with no time management skills? I mean, sure, for five extra minutes or something if someone's nice about it I could see, but .. I don't see how 'sucking it up' to that extent is going to get anyone anything but walked on. I mean, people should be expected to have at least a modicum of politeness and common sense. We expect it of our children (or we should, anyway, but that's an entirely different rant).
It's always been my experience that kindness and courtesy on the part of the customer will get you a hell of a lot further than yelling - at least to the front line reps, anyway. They don't make the decisions. Yell at the higher-ups who do.
That said, apparently I'm weird for having this opinion, in some circles. So ... yeah.

[sertrel.livejournal.com]

I wonder whether the clientele is worse when you're working in a more private library (e.g. an academic library at a private university) or working at a general public library.

As snotty as your law students are, I imagine parents and snotty brats would be much worse, especially since the former means you can't do much about the latter.

And you're not expecting too much as far as expecting people to be polite, you're just Southern. :) A friend of mine, native North Carolinian, told me about a psych study where people were evaluated on courteousness and how they reacted to discourtesy. Southerners tend to be more courteous, but they also tend to get really, really upset in a hurry if that courtesy is not returned. People from other regions were less courteous, but did not change their behavior as dramatically when they were on the receiving end of rudeness. He actually gave me the reference for the article, and I read it, so this isn't apocrypha. (The only thing I'm slightly unsure of is if it specifically addressed Southerners, or if it was just about people who were raised to be particularly polite.)

I think the one of the few ways that people can pull off unerring politeness even in the face of blatant rudeness and abuse is a deeply held internal faith or arrogance, an unassailable sense of superiority and immunity. Everyone considers them so polite, but they fail to read between the lines and realize that behind that is a cruel arrogance built on a sense of intrinsic superiority. (I have a cultural example in mind.)

[sempereadem.livejournal.com]

(I have a cultural example in mind.)

The British Gentry?

[nyxalinth.livejournal.com]

Sometimes, you meet people in the customer service sector--management, usually, who haven't been on the phones in years, if ever--who would agree totally with the book.

It majorly pisses me off that people take that attitude. Customer service jobs have a huge turnover because they treat the employees like shit and expect them to take shit from customers on top of it.

And then they wonder why they spend so much on training!

I know you don't work in a call center, but the idea seems to be the same.

[ladylabyrinth.livejournal.com]

Oh, it is. I've been in both retail and call centers, so I know exactly what it's like from both ends. At least in a call center you can hit mute and bitch a little to vent some steam. But this is why we have LJ. Read this little rant I put in my journal for an example.

[idioticpoet.livejournal.com]

My general theory is-
People that are cut out for "service" work, are generally those who were lobotomized at about the same time they gained the ability to walk.

[mizdandylynn.livejournal.com]

No you are not horrible for expecting it.. but I will tell you as a teacher.. you probably won't get it. I vent and move on.. not necessarily suck it up.. but I can talk to parents later when they are calmer.. unlike you. You might never see them again.. or not on a basis that you can get deep with them. I'm sorry.. I wish people were nicer. For you and for me..