I don't belong here.

[kellinator]

Last night I showed up to watch the Vandy game at some restaurant in Buckhead where I'd found out a bunch of Vandy alums were congregating. I showed up alone (kingjohn2nd couldn't make it and alanator was running late) and basically guessed that if my innate charm weren't enough to get me a seat, a shared alma mater would be.

So there I was, surrounded by a hundred people I never would have crossed paths with even if we had been in school at the same time. Women wearing rings that probably cost more than I make in a year. Guys in ATO t-shirts. The really rich, the really thin, the really gorgeous, everywhere. And then me, Little Miss None-of-the-Above. Without my protective cocoon of English honors classes or McTyeire or the guys of Tolman 3.

And I couldn't help but think I don't belong here.

And it reminds me of all the jokes my parents have made over the years about me getting switched at the hospital as a baby. Yeah, they're funny, and we all laugh, but there's always a little bit of an edge that I don't even know if they're conscious of: You're not like us.

I don't think I've ever really belonged anywhere.

Comments

[football-swan.livejournal.com]

I don't think I've ever really belonged anywhere.

Perhaps we can make you reconsider that statement after tomorrow night. *smirk*

[blackacre.livejournal.com]

I completely understand how you feel. Hell, last night I was at fucking Darwins watching undergrads run around in their self made (from national championship shrts, of course) tube tops adorned with tiffany jewelry, prada bags, etc. Hell, I even saw a girl who topped her outfit off with MANOLOS. And none of them have an ounce of fat on them.

Its just that feeling of...why am I here, why was I ever here and why does BEING here have to make me feel like a loser?

Blah. You aren't alone.

[jerseygirl1.livejournal.com]

That is how I felt when I lived in Atlanta also... even if I had friends and such. There is something "artificial" about Atlanta.

[mizdandylynn.livejournal.com]

Funny you say that.. because that is how I feel all the time... like I don't belong.. don't fit in

In fact, just this week, Hubs told me I am invisible in my family... he has seen it without me saying a word.

[ariedana.livejournal.com]

I've had that same thing all my life, even starting in grade school. Then I wasn't a prep or a redneck - I was just weird and no one related to me. Now everyone I know is fabulously alt or just fabulous in general. There's not really a place for girls like me, who aren't thin enough or cute enough but also not weird or wacky enough. It's a bit depressing.

[trigeekgirl.livejournal.com]

Exactly. Those of us who weren't really anything enough didn't fit anywhere. Not weird enough, not fashionable enough, not unpopular enough (someone tell me why even the unpopular kids had a clique I couldn't get into...)

Been there

[opalturtle.livejournal.com]

That was me all through grade school and high school. I finally found people like me in college - people who didn't think I was just weird. That was nice.

You fit just fine at our house last Saturday. And we adopted you, remember? So you've got people - we're just in Tennessee. :D ~hugs~

[la-poubelle.livejournal.com]

You think its a human flaw? To feel left out that is, and different from everyone else? Or is it that we truly are different from everyone else?

We are all unique, and the way I look at it, I've never wanted to be like someone else. I embrace my outcastiness....

[wintersweet.livejournal.com]

I dunno why you'd *want* to belong there. :p

well...

[cotharyus.livejournal.com]

We had a pretty motley crew here last weekend. It felt fine. We all had a good time. I thought. At least I did. I think everyone did. I think too much probly. Anyhow, you're a charactor - you're welcome back here anytime, along with everyone else that's here. When I was growing up, I was always "smarter" than everyone else my age. Last weekend I think I was the only person at the table that doesn't have a college degree. Of course, I'll gladly take on any recent college grad at doing just about anything with 3 computers all running different OS's and networking them all. Never mind making it failsafe. The thing is, you can fit in just fine with ANYONE whenever the people in question are confident in who they are. I mean the REAL person they are. All those big rocks in those big rings are people that have security issues. I would rather spend $10k on a nice vacation with my wife than on a ring she'd be afraid to wear without an armed bouncer at her side at all times. Bottom line, you know who you really are, and you fit in fine with other mature people who know who they really are.

[dslartoo.livejournal.com]

The really rich, the really thin, the really gorgeous, everywhere. And then me, Little Miss None-of-the-Above.

*BZZT!* Thank you for playing our game. The first two may not quite fit, but that third one fits you to the T.

cheers,
Phil