Well, that was weird.
Feb. 2nd, 2004 10:57 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kellinatorWell, that was a weird weekend.
The funny thing is, nothing "weird" per se actually happened. In fact, it was actually a very sedate weekend. Just... it felt weird. Like, thinking too much about too much stuff that I didn't really want to think about.
Have you ever got to thinking, what's really you? The real you, not the you that acts that way because your parents told you to or people expect you to or you think people expect you to. Like, who the hell am I? Sometimes I think I have a good idea, sometimes I don't know. I usually think being compulsively nice is just a part of my personality, but what if it's just an act to get people to like me, an act I've been doing for so long that I've internalized it to the point where it's a subconscious act?
I think my brain just exploded.
Someone told me I'm the most insecure person she's ever met. I wonder if that's part of my personality too?
The funny thing is, nothing "weird" per se actually happened. In fact, it was actually a very sedate weekend. Just... it felt weird. Like, thinking too much about too much stuff that I didn't really want to think about.
Have you ever got to thinking, what's really you? The real you, not the you that acts that way because your parents told you to or people expect you to or you think people expect you to. Like, who the hell am I? Sometimes I think I have a good idea, sometimes I don't know. I usually think being compulsively nice is just a part of my personality, but what if it's just an act to get people to like me, an act I've been doing for so long that I've internalized it to the point where it's a subconscious act?
I think my brain just exploded.
Someone told me I'm the most insecure person she's ever met. I wonder if that's part of my personality too?
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no subject
Date: 2004-02-02 10:30 am (UTC)What does being nice do for you? What does it get you? I like nice people. It doesn't mean there is no snark, etc... it just means that generally they are pleasant, helpful and fun to be around. Is there anything wrong with people like that? Not that I can tell...
And I don't think it is insecure to question yourself and your values.. if you didn't... I would worry then.
Hang in, Kel.... I think no one knows the real "them" until they get a few years on them... I didn't learn much about me until after I was 30...