kellinator | Shameless begging

Okay, you may have noticed there's a really cool meme going around (started by

darkmattr) in which you make me an icon and post it and then I make you one. The problem is, I suck at making icons. An icon made by me wouldn't be worth your time.

But... I do have a passing acquaintance with words. So here's my version of the meme. Make me an icon, something that makes you think of me, and I'll write something for you. Some snarky haiku, a bio, whatever you like, I'll try to give you.

(And while I'm at it, I need an icon, hopefully animated, of the time Strong Bad drank a whole glass of soy sauce and tried to fly Bubs' concession stand. Can anyone help me out?)