Existential angst

[kellinator]

Lately I've been seriously considering chucking it all and living in a van down by the river.


I was thinking last night, and what have I really done with my life that wasn't straight out of a script? I did all the things in high school I was supposed to do, hated band towards the end but wouldn't quit because I was too fucking stubborn, went to a college I wasn't sure I wanted to attend but that my parents had their hearts set on, applied to grad school just like I decided I would when I was seventeen, went to the only school that gave me a fellowship, hated grad school but wouldn't quit because again, I was too fucking stubborn and it wasn't in the script, got kicked out of grad school, took the first job that fell into my lap, and now I'm leading a life of quiet (and sometimes not-so-quiet) desperation.

When have I ever done anything that was truly brave? When have I gone out on a limb, said "damn the consequences"? What if I wake up one day when I'm 60 and say "I wasted my life"?

Comments

[seaofsin.livejournal.com]

Who cares if what you've done with your life is straight out of a script? Think about it this way: You have gone out on a limb. You graduated college. You went to grad school. Many people never make it that far. You left you friends and family in TN and now live in Atlanta. You could have just spent the rest of your life in TN. You took a chance by going to Atlanta. That is brave.

Don't worry so much about what you could have done or what you havne't done. Don't worry about what other people think of you or what you've done with your life. Just enjoy what you're doing right now. And if you don't enjoy it right now, figure out why. Change your attitude and perceptions. Take up a new hobby or some classes at a community college to enrich your life. Go out on a limb and take up something you've never done before like rock climbing, martial arts, painting or cake decorating.

Life is too short to be taken seriously.