Existential angst

[kellinator]

Lately I've been seriously considering chucking it all and living in a van down by the river.


I was thinking last night, and what have I really done with my life that wasn't straight out of a script? I did all the things in high school I was supposed to do, hated band towards the end but wouldn't quit because I was too fucking stubborn, went to a college I wasn't sure I wanted to attend but that my parents had their hearts set on, applied to grad school just like I decided I would when I was seventeen, went to the only school that gave me a fellowship, hated grad school but wouldn't quit because again, I was too fucking stubborn and it wasn't in the script, got kicked out of grad school, took the first job that fell into my lap, and now I'm leading a life of quiet (and sometimes not-so-quiet) desperation.

When have I ever done anything that was truly brave? When have I gone out on a limb, said "damn the consequences"? What if I wake up one day when I'm 60 and say "I wasted my life"?

Comments

[weaktwos.livejournal.com]

Then, perhaps you do need a good nature-infused road trip to ponder your future. :-) Someplace with waterfalls, and lush vegetation, but minus banjo-waving inbreeds.

Re:

[kellinator.livejournal.com]

I'm from Tennessee. Banjo-waving inbreds do not scare me. ;)

[weaktwos.livejournal.com]

I didn't say they were scary. I merely contend they are not fruitful for thoughtful meditation. :-)

Besides, you're not male, and you don't look like Ned Beatty. I'm sure you would be safe around such folk.