It's going to be Monday all motherfucking day.

Dear Place of Employment,

It's bad enough that you charge me almost $300 a year for the privilege of parking my car while I do my job, but it just adds insult to injury when you don't give me a place to fucking park.

Fuck you and your fucking racket,
Kelly

Dear Atlanta Drivers,

You have these nifty thingies on your car. They're called "turn signals." You should try using them sometime. They're fun!

Bite me,
Kelly

Dear Atlanta Road Maintenance People,

I find it fascinating that in my four years in Atlanta, you've 1). never actually finished anything you were working on and 2). spent most of your time paving and repaving the roads of rich people.

Graft much?,
Kelly

Dear George Lucas,

Bitch, please. Face facts, the prequels blow, and so do your changes to the original trilogy. That wouldn't bother me nearly so much if it weren't for your snooty attitude towards the fans who have made you a kajillionaire. You know why people "saw half a completed film and fell in love with it"? Because it was good. Jar Jar is not good. Take notes, there will be a test.

Han shoots first, dammit,
Kelly

That girl gives white trash a bad name

Because it's Monday, and because I slept like an undead baby last night (woke up every two hours and cried for brains), and because the whole point of having celebrities is to mock them, and because I can, I'm declaring today International Make Fun of Britney Spears Day.

Yes, I know, it's not exactly a challenge. Kinda like shooting fish in a barrel. Only it's not even that difficult. It's more like looking at fish in a barrel.

So come on. Hit me with your best snark.

Confession time

Okay, who put the stupid in the water supply?