Oh, fucking terrific.

My mom called me this morning to:

1). bug me about have I bought some stupid book my dad wants on Amazon;

2). announce that they're planning on coming to see me in three weeks (all together now: OH SHIT);

3). inform me that I accidentally hit some button on my phone this weekend and she got to hear me explaining to a third party that I have no self-esteem because of my parents.

I really don't want my parents to come visit.

Positive thinking and other such things I know nothing about

I've been thinking lately that the reason so many marvelously suckalicious things happen to me is because I expect them to.

Ever seen Red Dwarf? If not, you should. Go watch it now and then come back and read the rest of this post. If you have (and that's all of you now, because I just know that you all do exactly what I tell you to!) then remember the episode "Better Than Life"? The crew is playing this awesome virtual reality game called Better Than Life, where you can have all your wildest desires come true. At first things are great, as you'd expect, but then the crew members find themselves in danger because even in a virtual reality paradise, Rimmer imagines bad things happening to him. That's me. When my mind wanders, it frequently takes me into worst-possible-case scenarios. Most days I'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop.

I would love to follow through on metaphorge's advice and practice perfectly positive thinking, but there are two problems:

1). I don't know how;

2). More importantly, I'm not sure if I can let myself. You know what my bio page says? "Her mission in life is to make the bad things funny." That's what I do. I bitch. And the only reason I get away with it as much as I do is I attempt to do it in an amusing manner. atomicnumber51 would have hung up on me and banished me to Too Lame For Hogwarts if I didn't do my bitching so snarkily.

I'm not Little Miss Mary Fucking Sunshine. And even if becoming her would solve all my problems, would I still be me?

On the other hand...

If my parents come to visit at the end of June, then I'll likely tell them "but I just already saw you!" and breeze off to do something fun for the Fourth of July.

the true usefulness of LJ

You know the good thing about chronicling every inane thought to pop into your head? Occasionally you type something, go back, look at it, and have a breakthrough without even trying to.

Oddly appropriate quiz

I don't usually post these, but I was just far too amused with this one.

My Monster Name is Hellcat Hellcats are awfully touchy about being far less well known than their Hell Hound cousins. Hellcats enter combat by coughing up a burning hairball and tossing it at their opponents. The Levenshtein distance between Kellinator and Hellcat is 5.
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this is what happens when geeks talk too much

scarcrest and I are going to start our own vigilante justice team. We're going to beat people with sticks.

And on that note, I'm going home to watch Homicide.