Transcript, "The Pet Psychic," July 26, 2002

The Pet Psychic: Today we'll be talking to the Kellinator and her two cats. What's the problem, Kellinator?
Kellinator: Well, Sam keeps glaring at me and neither one will let me sleep.
The Pet Psychic: Okay. Well, Sam here has quite a lot to say... he's very upset with you. He says you're neglecting him.
Kellinator: I'm not neglecting him. His mom and I just put him on a diet.
The Pet Psychic: Ah. Well, Sam says you damn well better feed him or he'll rip your throat out in your sleep.
Kellinator: He needs to be on a diet. He's a tubbo.
The Pet Psychic: He says he knows what a "tubbo" is and he doesn't appreciate it.
Kellinator: Scheisskopf.
The Pet Psychic: He knows German too. He says he's smarter than you, and when you're as old and smart as he is you can do whatever you like. Oh, and he has a message: "You kids get off my lawn."
Kellinator: Damn. Well, what about Nick?
The Pet Psychic: Nick is scared. He says people want to put him in the cuddle box, and he doesn't like it.
Kellinator: Oh, that's just Rick.
The Pet Psychic: Well, he knows what the cuddle box is, and he doesn't think it's funny that your friend wants to put him in the microwave.
Kellinator: Well, tell him he can take a swipe at Rick if it'll make him feel better.
The Pet Psychic: Good luck, Kellinator. You have some really fucked-up cats.

Here I am...

a little less depressed than I was earlier, but pretty cranky because I'm stuck at work on a Friday night.

I shall make moronic posts to amuse myself.

Weird dream

I couldn't decide whether to post this, but everyone on my friends list was talking about weird dreams today, so I'll proceed.

I have never made a secret of my crush on Richard Belzer (Munch on Homicide and Law and Order: Special Victims Unit), but I never actually dreamed I was having sex with him till last night. In my dream last night, I had a lot of sex with him.

Dammit, how come I never dream about having lots of sex with Butch Walker?

She's an angel

You are an angel.

What legend are you?. Take the Legendary Being Quiz by Paradox

Heh, I know some people who would disagree...

Actually, I met a fairly well-known new age writer named Doreen Virtue a few months back. She took one look at me and announced I was an incarnated angel. So there.

Polls are fun

[Poll #49424]