Transcript, "The Pet Psychic," July 26, 2002

[kellinator]

The Pet Psychic: Today we'll be talking to the Kellinator and her two cats. What's the problem, Kellinator?
Kellinator: Well, Sam keeps glaring at me and neither one will let me sleep.
The Pet Psychic: Okay. Well, Sam here has quite a lot to say... he's very upset with you. He says you're neglecting him.
Kellinator: I'm not neglecting him. His mom and I just put him on a diet.
The Pet Psychic: Ah. Well, Sam says you damn well better feed him or he'll rip your throat out in your sleep.
Kellinator: He needs to be on a diet. He's a tubbo.
The Pet Psychic: He says he knows what a "tubbo" is and he doesn't appreciate it.
Kellinator: Scheisskopf.
The Pet Psychic: He knows German too. He says he's smarter than you, and when you're as old and smart as he is you can do whatever you like. Oh, and he has a message: "You kids get off my lawn."
Kellinator: Damn. Well, what about Nick?
The Pet Psychic: Nick is scared. He says people want to put him in the cuddle box, and he doesn't like it.
Kellinator: Oh, that's just Rick.
The Pet Psychic: Well, he knows what the cuddle box is, and he doesn't think it's funny that your friend wants to put him in the microwave.
Kellinator: Well, tell him he can take a swipe at Rick if it'll make him feel better.
The Pet Psychic: Good luck, Kellinator. You have some really fucked-up cats.

Comments

[jema.livejournal.com]

*LOL*
thanks for the laughs:)

[kellinator.livejournal.com]

So glad you enjoyed it!

[gwynraven.livejournal.com]

this is great, thanks :) I've watched the Pet Psychic once and it was wonderful entertainment. My favourite:

Random Cockatoo Owner: I've tried getting him a girlfriend but he doesn't seem interested in any of them.
Pet Psychic: That's because your cockatoo is gay. And he's lonely. He's telling me he'd much prefer it if you got him a boyfriend.

[kellinator.livejournal.com]

Yeah! What I wondered about that one was, What if the boyfriend-cockatoo turns out to be straight?

[atomicnumber51.livejournal.com]

I miss having a cat.

Sorry I missed you last night, it was after 9:00 out here when I got to your message.

*hugs*

[kimosabi46.livejournal.com]

Don't you just AHTE it when your cat is smarter than you?!? Oh, and the attitudes they can give....LOL

[kellinator.livejournal.com]

Sam isn't smarter than me... he just thinks he is.

But believe it or not, he is bitchier than I am!

Re:

[kimosabi46.livejournal.com]

HA HA HA...yes, I understand...my cat tries to RULE the house - and we let her *think* she does 'cause it's just so much easier that way!!

[noctifer.livejournal.com]

I know! don't you just hate that? Our cats keepstrying to rule us, thinking they can tell us what to do and what to feed them. We humor them though, you know - moist food, frequent petting, letting them go to sleep on us until all of our lives are asleep - but its only because we want to do that.

[not-hothead-yet.livejournal.com]

what the heck is that? a tv show? a radio show? a website?

very funny in any case.... wonder what the pet psychic would channel from Mr. P

[kellinator.livejournal.com]

It's a TV show on Animal Planet.

Oh goodness... I'd give my back teeth to see what she got out of Mr. P.