Kellinator Jones and the Temple of Snark

I used to have an opened bag of semi-sweet morsels next to my bed at college almost all the time. Ate them by the handful, no chewing, just letting them sit in my mouth and melt. But France spoiled me man, they have half an aisle of Belgian chocolate in the grocery store . Cote d'Or, Noir de Noir baby for pure chocolaty bliss, and Milka for those creamy smoothness moments.

Why, why do I settle for Nestle Crunch bars? Cuz I'm a lazy bastard.

(and a second to: Heathen!)