Whatever you do, don't think.

[kellinator]

I just received an interlibrary loan from Bob Jones University (yes, I know, it's an oxymoron) and was struck by the large, bright pink notice pasted inside the front cover:

"The fact that this volume is included in the Bob Jones University Library does not mean that the University endorses its contents from the standpoint of morals, philosophy, theology, or scientific hypotheses. The position of Bob Jones University on these subjects is well known.

In order to standardize the work and validate the credits of Bob Jones University, it is sometimes necessary to include in this library books whose contents the University cannot wholly endorse."

I am translating this as...

"OMG the awful liberal educated people who run accreditation boards say we have to have a library with more than one opinion in it or they won't let us call ourselves a university!! Well, fine, but WE DON'T LIKE IT!! So here, have this book, but don't you DARE think about it for yourself!!"

Hey, doesn't Bob Jones know what they say about pink?

When I showed this to a co-worker, she told me about Pensacola Christian College, which makes Bob Jones look like a party school in comparison. She mentioned in particular the rule that students of the opposite sex cannot look at each other too intently, lest they commit "optical intercourse", colloquially known as "making eye babies." I replied that these people clearly are the ones with dirty minds, as they see sex absolutely everywhere.

I'd really like to wrap this up with a pithy comment, but I'm too aghast to come up with one, so I'll just state that these lunatics do more harm than good to Christianity. It's impossible to provide witness when people like these ensure Christians have a reputation as idiots. Jesus, save me from Your followers.

Comments

[theniwokesoftly.livejournal.com]

Here via Metaquotes. That reminds me of Liberty University in Virginia. It frightens me.

I love the rule that says you can get in trouble for having a member of the opposite sex in your dorm room or 'allowing the same'. As in, if I were there and my roommate had her boyfriend in the room, I would be in trouble. I've always wondered what would happen if I was there and I had my girlfriend in my room. It's not PDA and she wouldn't be of the opposite sex!

[hopefulnebula]

Yeah, that's because it's a pay-to-subscribe site. :/

[lintilla.livejournal.com]

Then why did it say "Register for free?" Ah well, whatever.

[hopefulnebula]

You have to subscribe to the magazine in order to do that, it seems like. Oh well.

[mecurtin.livejournal.com]

My husband said, "what's so funny?" I told him about "optical intercourse."

He said, "Well, why do you think they call it eye-balling?"

ba-dump ching!

[adamosity.livejournal.com]

I'll take "optical intercourse" for 600, alex :-)

[mr-black-cat.livejournal.com]

You'd never get past the front gate:

[quote]Under no circumstances will pornography,
premarital or extramarital sex, homosexuality, or
other sex perversions be allowed.[/quote]

But dont feel bad, I probably couldnt make it 20 feet without doing something worthy of being expelled, and possibly burned at the stake.

[johnsixteen33.livejournal.com]

i think that was a very interesting point.

[nyxalinth.livejournal.com]

Do these people also have buckles on their shoes and funny hats? they sound like Puritans to me...Guh. People scare me more every day.

[theniwokesoftly.livejournal.com]

Haha I'd be expelled just for living because I'm gay. Whee!

[rocketmelee.livejournal.com]

Dude. Did you know that I had to go to their highschool for, like, a year and a half when I lived in Florida? (LOOOOOOOOOOOONG story) It's even worse than you would think, I could tell you stories that would curl your hair...

[dhyanarae.livejournal.com]

Kelly, I was so impressed by the many comments on this thread that I forgot what I wanted to say about being agast about evangelicals. I had to go back and re-read your post, finally it came back to me. I was agast today too. Today for the first time ever, I witnessed a man evangelizing to the Wachovia Bank teller. Grrr... There is no limit to the craziness.

[kokopellinelli]

Here from metaquotes. I would just like to express my love for the phrases "optical intercourse" and "making eye babies," though I'm quite disgusted by the reasoning behind them. Oy.

[whysoblue.livejournal.com]

How funny, absurd, and just plain sad.

Your ILL stories are always the best.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_rikiki/]

Bob Jones can be scary sometimes. *grew up in Greenville, has a sister who went there for a few years* They only recently got accredited, which meant I had to stop teasing my sister about how her school wasn't real.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_rikiki/]

Here from metaquotes, btw. And y'know what's funniest about BJU, imho? Apparently the students call it 'BJ' for short. I don't know if my sister ever figured out why the rest of us always sniggered when she called it that.

[ms-anthropy.livejournal.com]

Wandered over from metaquotes. FYI, BJU lost their accreditation years ago due to unwillingness to admit african-americans and later, after they finally admitted them, to allow "fraternization."

They have a very famous gallery of religious art - the real deal, they actually own a Rembrandt. The gallery is on the campus and is open to the public, but years ago you had to follow their dress codes to get in, and I believe the policy is still in place. We went there on a tour when I was in high school, back when dinosaurs roamed the earth, and the tour guide at the gallery was a BJU grad student in art. He described to us how he had worked on the team responsible for painting drapes over the genitalia of the cherubs in certain (priceless, irreplaceable, centuries-old) masters the gallery had in its collection. He was very proud to have been chosen for this task. It was apparently a great honor. He actually showed us some examples as we toured the gallery, and sho'nuff, although it was skillfully executed, due to a glaring difference in the age of the paint you couldn't miss where they had actually painted little drapes over the crotches of the renaissance cherubs.

Most of the stories you hear about the place are completely absurd, but the most absurd ones are invariably the ones that turn out to be true.

And "making eye babies" is my new favorite phrase ever.

[ms-anthropy.livejournal.com]

Small world, one of my best friends went there until he got caught doing tarot readings in the dorm LOL. Did they finally get accredited? I must have missed that, I usually notice them when they turn up on the news.

[ms-anthropy.livejournal.com]

Correction - they lost their accreditation years ago when they refused to integrate, but someone with more recent info than mine says they recently got it back, so I don't know.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_rikiki/]

I don't know if it made the news; I found out when my sister indignantly pointed that they were, in fact, accredited.

[ms-anthropy.livejournal.com]

And may I say, I'm making eye babies with your icon right now, I love it that much.

[ms-anthropy.livejournal.com]

Where...does she get...these wonderful...icons....

[http://users.livejournal.com/_rikiki/]

They've almost got it--there's a five-year period they have to get through first, which they started a year ago tomorrow. The great god Google always has the answers:
http://www.bju.edu/academics/accred.html for BJU's site & http://www.tracs.org/ for the accrediting organization. BJU's listed under "Candidate Institutions."

[ms-anthropy.livejournal.com]

Practically. The dress codes make them very, very easy to spot on the street. Also the BJU ones travel in packs (by school rules) so they can report on each other, or at least that was the case when my friend went there - I saw the student handbook with my own eyes. I wish I were making that up.

[ms-anthropy.livejournal.com]

Thank you, it's late and my brain isn't working.