my first step towards becoming a crazy cat lady

[kellinator]

I've been seriously thinking about getting a cat for a while. Though I'd been very taken with some kittens, after doing some research, I felt an adult cat that didn't mind being alone during the day would be the best bet, since I only had room for one. I looked at the listings on petfinder.com and found this cat named Heidi whose description sounded perfect for me, and whose picture I though was just really extraordinarily precious. Look at those eyes!

I met up with Heidi and her foster mom Wednesday night at a Petsmart. The foster mom had warned me that Heidi was shy and might not respond so much at first. Heidi was pregnant when the rescue people got her about two and a half years ago. Her kittens all got adopted, but she's been in foster care ever since. She's never had much space or a person of her own. The foster mom was talking about how Heidi and cats like her that aren't spectacular get overlooked in rescue work, and I'm sitting there petting this little cat that isn't responding to me at all and thinking, man, I'd kind of like a gorgeous kitty with a great personality.

But there she was. And I couldn't just leave her there. I know what it's like to be overlooked for being plain. The foster mom convinced me to take her home for a couple of weeks and see how it went. A hundred-dollar adoption fee and another hundred bucks of supplies later, I was on my way down 85, wondering exactly what the hell I had just gotten myself into.

Once I got Heidi inside, she immediately started looking for places to hide. In fact, she hid so well that I couldn't find her. I waited, and after a little while she came out, and I noticed all over again how cute she was. She let me comb her, and after a couple of hours she was comfortable enough to plop over and let me rub her belly. Foster mom was very impressed when I informed her over email.

So far, it's slow going. Heidi's really very timid -- loud noises startle her and send her running, and right now, everything seems to be a loud noise. I suspect she forgets who I am every time I leave the house. She did okay when she met my landlady yesterday, but is terrified by the barking of her dog (never mind that the dog is a Jack Russell not much bigger than her, Heidi doesn't know that). She's shown no interest in treats (I suppose I'll try tuna next) and very little in food. She's not shown much interest in most of her toys, but she played enthusiastically with the fishing pole with feathers last night. She REALLY likes catnip. She hid her catnip hedgehog the first night and I haven't seen it since. I think catnip is behind her weird running-across-the-apartment fits. Great. I have a stoner kitty.

But despite all my worrying, this morning I was woken not by the usual obnoxious alarm clock, but a soft nuzzle on the back of my neck. I think Heidi and I might do okay after all.

In the meantime, does anyone who's adopted a shy adult cat have any advice for me?

Comments

[reprobayt.livejournal.com]

Be patient...she'll have you trained in no time. :)

[twisteddaydream.livejournal.com]

My thoughts exactly!! Adult cats tend to take a little longer to settle into a routine than a kitten would, because they are older and more set in their ways. If she's been fostered a lot, then she'll take a little longer to adjust because she has to readjust to her surroundings all over again.

The one thing I would watch is her food and water intake. She may be eating while you're not around, but you want to make sure that she's eating and drinking plenty of water. Some of her not eating could be nervousness right now, so I wouldn't worry about it, just watch it.

And yes, cat nip is likely the cause of her running across the apartment in fits of crazy. It's good for that. That's why there's a no catnip rule here. :)

Most of all, enjoy getting to know each other!!! It's always fun to have a new "member of the family." :)

[katyakoshka.livejournal.com]

It takes time. As she gets more comfortable with the space, you'll see more of her.

Oh, get more catnip toys.

Don't do too much tuna; it can be bad for cats.

Mostly, just keep doing what you're doing, and she'll be a good kitty for you.

Also, pictures.

[heathrow.livejournal.com]

One of our cats is a very shy (okay, terrified 90% of the time) cat. Just give her time and patience and lots of scritches when possible. :D

[phinnia.livejournal.com]

Aww.
Some cats don't take to treats at all - ours hate them. I'd say you're doing fine - especially if she's already nuzzling you awake in the morning. Shy cats come out more or less when they're ready to - I've had two in a row and Silk still doesn't jump on my lap unless I have a heating pad on it.

[sempereadem.livejournal.com]

I'm so happy for you, and for Heidi!

I'd say just let Heidi take it at her own pace, and get used to you. Once she realizes she's safe, and has a place to call her own, and a Mommy who loves her, she'll be fine.

One thing I have found that worked extremely well with my cats is to talk to them, not just like "awfluffykittyschnuzzlewoowoo" when you scritch their ears or belly, but greeting them when you get home just like you would a person, and telling them goodbye when you leave the same way. My cats seemed to respond really well and become a lot more responsive after that.

[leopard-print.livejournal.com]

Okay, I simply *must* hear you say that out loud sometime.

[leopard-print.livejournal.com]

Be patient. Let her come to you.

Try talking to her, even if she's hiding, in a soft, gentle voice, whether she comes out or not. That will help her acclimate herself to the sound of you. Do not yell, squeal or move around quickly.

ALL cats (even blueingenue's kitties) need time to adjust to new surroundings. They have to decide it's safe, then inspect everything and will eventually relax. This takes at least a week probably longer since she's skittish to begin with.

In my experience, a shy cat will always be a shy cat. Forewarn company so that they do not unintentionally frighten her. Also, do not be surprised if she always starts at loud noises or if she doesn't come out much when other people are around. Look at B & K's cat, Sin. She's exactly like that. So is 10dimensions and eaterofgodz cat, Puar (whose name I probably just butchered).

Normally sky or skittish animals warm up to their owners, when given proper space and time but they will never be pets who will be totally comfortable with crowds or loud noises.

Sounds to me like you guys are off to a great start though :)

[depotmode.livejournal.com]

I have a spook cat I adopted back in April, and it's just been in the last two weeks that's she's finally letting me catch her and pet her for more than 20 seconds at a time. She plays fine with my other cat (male) but it's taken almost six months to get her affectionate side to come out.

Give it time is my best advice. If she doesn't want to be found, make it a game with her...she'll turn the whole hide-and-seek thing into a game eventually. Make sure you pick her up and pet her each day, even if just for a minute or two. Even though they're independent, they like to feel sake in their environment.

Glad you adopted a kitty! :) A friend of mine volunteers for Furkids, and I adopted my not-so-spooky kitty from PAWS Atlanta. Lots of luck!

[spiritchaser1.livejournal.com]

Awww, congratulations on being a mom to a new kitty! ^_^

She has such a sweet little face, and her eyes remind me of you with a "bitch, please" look. I love it!

Spazzkitty was very timid when I got him and hid a lot. Even after he warmed up to us, he was still shy around guests though. To this day he runs and hides when someone he doesn't know comes in, then decides if he wants to come meet them. Loud noises still startle him. He could be sweetly purring and curled up on my belly, but a loud noise or knock at the door will cause him to start shredding me in a scramble to escape.

I gave him a little space at first, but if he hid for long periods I would come to him and pet him for a while, then see if he wanted to come out. I did (and still do) my best to assure him he's in a safe place. He's gotten a lot braver, and I've found that actually being around GiGi kitty has helped him be more brave than ever. I think he's trying to impress her.

[spiritchaser1.livejournal.com]

Oh, and I also found I could lure him out of hiding by playing with him, using string or some other little toy. It distracted him from his fear. :)

awwwww

[jenbibi.livejournal.com]

how cute...the story almost made me cry.

she'll come around...shy cats usually snap out of it after a few weeks.

[poprockgrrl.livejournal.com]

She's precious! Just give her some time. She hasn't had a human of her own and needs some time adjusting. Her nuzzling your neck is a good sign. Don't worry about the treats. One of our cats doesn't really like treats either.

Our dog was a rescue dog who had been in foster care with 8 other dogs for over a year. She had some issues with abandonment when we first got her but then she realized that when we left, we always came back. It didn't take long for her to get adjusted. Just make sure she has space to call her own and let her come to you, it will be fine.

You're awesome for taking in an adult. Everybody wants kittens, but adult animals need love too.

[lac.livejournal.com]

When I was working at the shelter what we always told people is that yes, the cat will probably do the hiding thing for a few days to a week. You can close off some room so they don't feel overwhelmed and if she has a carrier, leave that open in the corner of your bedroom or living room so she can go there if she's feeling skittish. Even though this cat was in a foster home, she may have been in a shelter for some time. Do you know if she was. And her appetite may be a little low the first few days to a week as well

She may always be shy and not like loud noises but it sounds to me like you are making headway and I think it will be fine.

But it can take awhile so don't be discouraged.

[rubrchick]

I sort of skimmed the above comments so I apologize if I repeat what they said.

Be patient. Definitely. She'll figure it out and love you, although she may not stop being skittish. It'll take time but if you're consistant with her, it will definitely pay off.

Wyph and I recently brought home a stray boy cat from work. We were worried about him, not knowing his history or exact age. We have three other cats and a dog who are all used to eachother and used to being invaded by pets we babysit, but we just didn't know what to expect bringing this older cat into our home. We've had him for probably about a month or two now and he's only just started playing with the other beasts and with the toys we have strewn about all over the place. He swats at the dog and doesn't let him terrorize or scare him.

Good luck with it. I have faith that it will all turn out just fine. Kitty companions are the best.

[streamweaver.livejournal.com]

Well you've met Munchie so you know I've got a lot of experience with shy cats.

Just take time and let her get use to everything. Don't try to throw everything at her at once like a bazillion toys, new foods, catnip, and constant talking. Bring them out a bit at a time and she'll pick the ones she likes.

I'd definitly advise against tuna and general people food as a health thing. Cats don't have the best digestive systems in the world. The biggest urban myth is about cats and milk, yes they usually like milk but all cats are lactose intolerant (I kid you not) so it'll make them feel bad.

I think the biggest thing is you learn to take on a quiet and calm demenor she'll respond well to that.

[teague.livejournal.com]

Kitties have tricky tummies. She may be off her food due to the stress of the move, and if you didn't buy the exact same kind of food that she's used to, her diet change. If she hasn't already, she may have some loose bowels. It's normal. If you do notice diarrhea in the litter box, don't panic unless it last for several days.

And just for the record, while some cats may be more exotic than others, no cat is plain. Your new lady is a *gorgious* blue tabby. Does she have a butterfly on her shoulders?

[tattermuffin.livejournal.com]

I haven't a cat, so no advice - you're getting plenty from everyone else on that anyway. :)

But I wanted to say that I think it's fabulous that you are giving an adult cat a home, and that you were willing to give her a chance despite not being gorgeous or outgoing. I'll bet she turns out to be the light of your life with time.

[vikkilynn.livejournal.com]

The one-year-old cat I adopted hid behind the washer/dryer or stayed on TOP of my refrigerator for about 3 or 4 days. (I'm sure she came out at night when I was sleeping and during the day when I was at work.) It wasn't until about day 5 that she really started warming up to me, not being startled by every little noise, and settling in to her own routine of eating, playing, sleeping, and being cute. :)

[gladstone.livejournal.com]

Dude, Applesauce is four years old and she still has weird running-across-the-apartment fits. It's not the catnip--cats are just nutty.

[ariedana.livejournal.com]

xanadumalion's cat, Miss Stinky, was very shy. I remember visiting their house the first time and meeting Tiger, but only seeing a gray streak flying under the bed, which was stinky. When she and Tiger stayed with me the first time, I really didn't see her for two weeks (she was very spooked by the Terror Twins.) She eventually let me pet her occasionally by the time X'ana came back. Then the second time, she still hid most of the time and wasn't fond of the Twins, but she'd come out to get nuzzled or get treats. Then when Tiger died, I guess she thought that I would be her companion, so she started being very open and loving. You saw how she was when you visited - she really grew to love people. I think that when I am able to pay the fee to get my cats back, she'll be the one I have come stay with me the most, because she seemed to be kind of lonely and loss in my parents' big ol' house and was the happiest to see me when I visited last weekend.

Anyway, I can guarantee that Heidi will come around. Right now she's getting used to things, but she'll see that you're the person who comes home and feeds her and rubs her. It means a lot to be someone's favorite creature. And as far as the treats - if you haven't tried the moist ones yet, my cats universally loved them. I got the Friskies cans. Also, as far as toys, another winner is the multicolored felt mice. Also, go get one of those laser pointer keychains. I think you've seen how my cats went for that, and they're handy if you need to get her out of the room for some reason. ;)

[m0usegrrl.livejournal.com]

yup, seconded and all that. when i first got Miss Thang, she and Tiger were almost a year old. she hid for TWO MONTHS -- mostly under my bed when people were around. i'd just talk to her and give her treats, and one day i caught her sleeping on my bed. she hid, of course, but it wasn't too long after that when she wouldn't run, and one evening while sitting on the bed watching telly, i felt a warm furry lump at my back; she had curled up next to me.

['scuse me while i sniffle. i miss my little girlcat.]

anyway, yeh. time and patience. it's already a great sign that she lets you fuss her tummy and nuzzled you awake. you'll have your own furry little lap fungus in no time. ^___^

[dwivian]

Woo hoo!!!! Kitty has a new pet!

Okay... what NOT to do. Do not drag the cat out and pet them anyway. Do not yell at them for hiding. Do not throw down the feathered toy after it doesn't work for a while and stomp off. Do not forget the catnip toys. Do not yell when kitty finally comes out and sits with you.

I say this, because nobody gave me advice, and it took my cat Nox 10 years to figure out that elfgirl was the sane one, and thus finally warmed up to people. Everything I gained with Charcoala came from da elf undoing some bad advice I had from a well-meaning friend and, of course, Charcoala being a very patient cat. Next time around I hope to be as good as you already are.

Everyone else here has given you the best advice -- lots of patience, and lots of catnip. You might try getting a fresh plant, in fact....

[adina-atl.livejournal.com]

Congratulations (to Heidi *g*).

Give both of you time. When I first brought Lady Sarah home she used to hide like this. She seemed to think that she wasn't allowed to play, and that no pet session could or would last longer than the thirty-seconds at a time that she got at the shelter. Now you'd hardly recognize her as the same cat: she falls asleep in my arms and goes so limp I have to stop her from oozing to the floor.

Watch out for fear triggers, something that can be unpredicable in rescue kitties. Avoid raising your hand over her head in a threatening manner. Get a squirt gun if you want to discourage her from scratching something or getting on counters, so she doesn't associate it with your voice or presence.

[stevietee.livejournal.com]

Congrats to both you and Heidi for finding each other! :)

Our Violet is extremely shy and skittish, and we just have to let her take the lead on when to come out and get loving -- she comes running when she hears the food being poured into her dish! :)

[nyxalinth.livejournal.com]

What a pretty girl!

My room mates' cat adopted me when I moved in. Katy often jokes that if I move out, she wants her cat back :)

[blueingenue.livejournal.com]

Just always approach with gentleness. Reach your hand out slowly and low so she can sniff you before you pet her head. Until she's very comfortable with you and her new surroundings, it will make her feel better if you let her come to you.

[corvidae9.livejournal.com]

You're looking at the girl that spent two months trying to convince her new adoptee to come out of the closet. :D It'll just take a little while, I'm sure. Mine is still psycho loud; I think he's just insecure and wanting to make sure I love him. And now of course we've got nuttiness with learning to live with the other cat, but that's a different story. ;) Congrats! :D

[piratejenny.livejournal.com]

I didn't adopt a shy adult cat, I adopted a shy kitten (he was 6 weeks). But some of the same rules will apply. Even after having Lance for 7 years, he'd still run under the bed if I wore boots (apparently heavy shoes scare some cats).

So, lessee. When we moved, we put his food and water in the bedroom, which is where he felt safest. We moved it to the kitchen in stages. He also hated treats, and wasn't big on wet food, and very finiky with what he did like. So trial and error might be the thing to do with food. We're finding the same thing with Lily--some stuff she loves, other stuff will sit on her plate.

Catnip is good and will help her come out of her shell a bit.

It'll take a little time for her to get used to you. It's a new home after all. And the nuzzle on the neck is a very good sign. Even though Lance was the original fraidy cat, he did like to cuddle. Not be held, but curl up next to us.

Oh, the tearing around the apartment bit? Invisible creatures attacking.

And she's so terribly cute!

(Oh, we publish a pretty decent book about cats: Think Like a Cat. Check it out and if you want a copy, email me.)