Unsent Letters, election edition

[kellinator]

Dear Friends List,

This is my LiveJournal. Not yours. You don't have to read it, and I don't have to write what you think I should write in it. So lay off the whining about whining. In case you haven't noticed, LiveJournal is whining. With the occasional quiz result.

Love,
Kelly

Dear American public at large,

You are obviously paying less attention than I gave you credit for. Don't worry, I won't make the same mistake again.

Are we even in the same country?,
Kelly

Dear John Kerry,

Gee, couldn't you have at least waited till a few more votes were counted before running in to concede? Weren't we supposed to at least try this year? You told us you'd fight for us, remember? And now you can't even wait till you're officially defeated? Don't our votes matter too? Being a "gracious loser" isn't going to do fuck-all to fix this mess.

Howard Dean wouldn't have pulled this shit,
Kelly

Dear George W. Bush,

Well, I guess you know something I don't. But my mom says you made a mess and you should have to clean it up yourself. Try not to kill too many innocents in the next four years.

...Oh, who the fuck am I kidding? It's not like you listen to anyone who says anything you don't like.

And by the way, "it's all right, I prayed about it" is not an all-purpose response. God helps those who help themselves.

And you really do look like a chimpanzee,
Kelly

Dear DNC,

Don't you dare ask me for another red cent until you figure out how to not piss it away.

I gave more than a hundred bucks and all I got was this lousy president,
Kelly

Dear Media,

Calling a state when not a single vote has been counted makes you look like a fucking idiot.

I'll stick to the Daily Show,
Kelly

Dear Georgia Voters,

Nearly 80% of you voted for Amendment 1? Wow, what a bunch of fucking bigots. I'm embarrassed that I have to share air with you.

Absolutely no love whatsoever,
Kelly

Dear "Christian" ministers,

Every single one of you who stood up in church and said that good Christians have to vote Republican should lose your church's tax-exempt status and have to pay for it out of your own pocket. And that includes you, Uncle Dale. Thanks for turning my staunchly-Democrat grandmother's funeral into a Dubya rally. She would have loved that.

"Men of God," my fat liberal ass,
Kelly

Dear Religious Reich Right,

Please re-read your Bibles. See the Pharisees? They're not the good guys. Stop behaving like them.

How did you come up with this crap, anyway?,
Kelly

Dear Secret Service,

Please do not waste the taxpayers' money by coming to visit me. I assure you that I am way too lazy to pose any threat to the government whatsoever. Given the choice between becoming a scary revolutionary or watching an episode of Law and Order I've already seen three times, Law and Order wins every fucking time.

Give me a Law and Order network and I'll probably be too lazy to even post on LJ,
Kelly

Dear NBA,

Thank you for starting the season so I can have something to rant about that doesn't actually matter at all. If Steve Nash has a bad year, I'll still be fine. Hell, he'll still be fine! He's rich, beeyotch!

Yay for mindless amusement,
Kelly

Dear Michael,

Thank you for holding me while I cried after the election. You get major boyfriend points for that. Of course, you're not on LJ so who knows if you'll even see this...

Love,
Kelly

Dear Me,

I don't care how good an idea you think it is, you cannot spend the next four years drunk.

Soberly,
Kelly

Dear God,

I don't understand. I really don't. Is this what You want people to do in Your name? Preach intolerance and hate and acting like a schoolyard bully? Are You even listening to me?

Questioningly,
Kelly

Comments

[mellowdramamama.livejournal.com]

Dear Kelly,

I think you are really fantastic and I'm glad I get to read your journal everyday. This may be the first time I smiled all day.

Love,
Rikki

[weaktwos.livejournal.com]

Dear Kelly,

I love reading your letters. I'm sorry you live in a red state. Maybe we should start a commune in Illinois.

Hugs,

Anne

Dear Michael,

Good man!

Thumbs up,

Anne

[mojomuze.livejournal.com]

Dear Kelly,

I enjoyed whining about whining. My whine didn't mean I was trying to edit you in any way. I enjoy freedom of speech just as much as the next person. But, this isn't MY livejournal?! Christ, I was spending all this time thinking it was. Stupid me. I'm thinking of running for President of LJ- my platform: More whining. More quizzes. Less readable content.

Yours in snarkdom,
Monica

[sujata.livejournal.com]

Dear Kelly,

I love you. I love your unsent letters. I love your snarky sense of humor. You are one of the best friends I have ever had.

And, I love the fact that we lost the battle, but we WILL win the war. Yes, I promise.

Phone me if you want to talk to someone like-minded.

Or better yet, phone me and at least fill me in on your recent trip to Florida!

*hugshugshugs*,
Molly



Dear Michael,

Dude. You so totally rock. I'm thrilled Kelly has such a thoughtful, caring boyfriend! She deserves every happiness. Keep up the good work...because if you don't I'll be obligated, as one of Kelly's good friends, to break your kneecaps.

*thumbs up*,
Molly

[zitronenhai.livejournal.com]

This is a fantastic post. Thank you. I would give you a Spitting Cobra Award, but I don't want you to think I'm making light of what you're saying here.

Rock On Sista' !!!

[faybee.livejournal.com]

I always love reading your political views and though a sad day, your thoughts were somewhat comforting to me. It appears through your entry that you hate the constant Republican ass raping as much as I do. And as for the next drunk 4 years, care to join me? It's sounding like somewhat of a good idea right now. I love your honesty and respect you opinion. Hopefully that counts for something.

Much Love And Respect, Fay

[kmn-rdr-caoimhe.livejournal.com]

I don't know if you play City of Heroes, but...

/e praise

[cotharyus.livejournal.com]

I think with the exception of one time I snapped at you about something, we've pretty much gotten on well. I'd like to think that'll continue. Just remember, even if I don't agree with you all the time, I at least respect you because I know where you stand.

~hugs~

[opalturtle.livejournal.com]

I love you, Kel, Democrat and all.

I will, however, continue to whine about other people's whining in my journal, 'cause it's mine, my own, my precious, and I'm allowed to whine in mine if you're allowed to whine in yours.

Let's get some cheese to go with that w(h)ine and have a party. :D

We'll all muddle through these next four years and hopefully next time around we'll have better candidates to pick from.

In the meantime, I might come to regret voting the way I did, but for right now I feel like I did the right thing.

Maybe the end of the world will come before then.

Remember, everything happens for a reason. Everything. We never understand it when it does, but there's always a reason.

Oh, and just think how half the population must've felt when Lincoln was elected president and commiserate with them. I'm not saying a civil war is impending or would be a good thing, but if we all pull together we'll come out better in the end.

~hugs~ I really do love you, you know. You're a very dear friend to me.

[ptwarhol.livejournal.com]

Wow. Good stuff.

[(Anonymous)]

dear you:

you live in georgia and are surprised that people in georgia arent into love and hugs and being gay in the butt? talk about not paying attention.

[daoistraver.livejournal.com]

I think God's trying to teach people to use alternative methods to reach their goals, in some sense.
She wants you to lose your faith in government. :)

Or at least, that's my Gnostic-Anarchist spin on it.

[hotcoffeems.livejournal.com]

Dear Kelly Nader:

I love you very much, and you say things very well. I wish I had written this letter.

However, could you please tell your daddy not to run again? His schtick has gotten stale.

Love and extra fishes,
Me

[flewellyn.livejournal.com]

Dear Kelly,

Thou dost rocketh my socketh.

Yours in snarkdom,
Flew

[la-poubelle.livejournal.com]

Best unsent letters yet.

Only this time you should send them.

[sharrainchains.livejournal.com]

These were the best unsent letters yet - but don't you think you were a little tough on God? After all, She is loving but not omnipotent. At least, that's my restatement of Kushner's Why Bad Things Happen to Good People.

[nyxalinth.livejournal.com]

I loved your post. what was Amendment 1 all about?

harleen and I are pissed because they wouldn't pass an amendment to make slot machines taxed for school dollars. forget which one that was here in Florida, but apparently the opposition convinced the voters it would lead to even more sin and sleaze in Miami and Fort Lauderdale. Idiots.

[vernard.livejournal.com]

Dear Kelly,

Free will is just that. Free Will. I keep hoping that you'll impress me. I'll keep waiting. I'm patient like that.

Sincerely,

God

[whorlwind.livejournal.com]

Dear Kelly,
Ignore the other false gods. :P The truth is that the plan is to make all governments of the world continuously more corrupt until you all get that there is nowhere to turn but to goodness. No noble amoralism, no fascism, no dictatorship, no communism, no system of organization will ever replace the spirit, and moral concern for all ye brethren, be they of different lifestyle, race, religion or crede. Yall keep missing the ball, so I'll keep throwing bigger ones until you can catch it.. hope it doesn't bowl you over.
Love,
Big G-mac, aka god.

[soultoad.livejournal.com]

Send 'em. I'm linking. I love you...and Michael for being a good boyfriend to an awesome person.

The one I loved best, that made me read them all aloud to my best friend, is the being drunk for four years. I started last night. *big hugs*

[chicating.livejournal.com]

This may be cheap, but I'm saying it anyway and it's my tagline at buffistas.
"I'm upset because the country I thought I have isn't the country I actually have."

Most recent post

[(Anonymous)]

Kel--Wow! What a great post. You pretty much summed up my feelings, except for the wanting your religion back part...I understand where you're coming from, but I gave up on religion a long time ago. Hang in there, sweetie. If I've learned anything in my 37 years, it's that your life really won't change that much. Just know that the rest of the country gets what they deserve--unless, of course, they're part of the 48% Kerry supporters, and then they're just screwed.