Felicity the swashbuckler from hell

[kellinator]

You know what happens when you let a total pop-culture whore roleplay a totally impulsive character who always says the first thing to come into her head? You get Felicity, and you get some anachronisms that would make any self-respecting GM cry.

Witness, for instance:

• Once during a fit of delusional paranoia caused by an evil staff (don't ask), Felicity ran out of camp screaming "They're after me lucky charms!!"
• Felicity was once possessed by the ghost of a drunk halfling thief. Somehow it took the rest of the party two hours to catch on to this, even with Felicity doing such out of character things as hitting on every halfling chick in the tavern. Upon spottingsujata's halfling monk Kendal across the room, possessed Felicity shrieked "Helloooo nurse!!"john666 laughed for five minutes and still claims this is my finest roleplaying moment.
• Felicity's idea for luring a notoriously misogynist baddie out of hiding? Skipping through the forest singing "la la la la la, I'm going to put together the evil staff and take over the world, and then I'm going to paint everything pink, la la la la la."
• As Kari the half-elf priestess was clinging to Franz, Felicity's pseudo-husband (long story which bored geeks can find here), Felicity took the opportunity to remind her that "My man ain't yo baby daddy." Kari's response? "Not now, not ever."
• Near the end of last night's session, Felicity totally flubbed a saving throw despite the use of a karma point and became dehabilitatingly depressed. After a while of whining and moaning, Felicity left the room and returned twenty minutes later in full Goth attire, complete with curlicued spiral drawn in eyeliner. She then invented what she's calling "the drama queen dance." First one hand to the forehead! Then the other! Then the first! Then the other!

Folks, I have no illusions. The only reason they're still letting me play is that I bring chocolate.

Comments

[stevietee.livejournal.com]

Wait... you bring chocolate...?

WHY haven't we met for lunch yet?? ;)

[ga-sunshine.livejournal.com]

Um, after being one of the characters who had to lure Franz out of the pocket of the female giant whose sex toy he had become, honey...you fit right into this group.

Hell, my ex-husband and I were playing twin females that sexed up the king's son, tied him up in a BDSM moment, stuffed him into a closet (too tightly), and then had to flee to a nunnary when he died there. *snicker*

[dorei.livejournal.com]

Oh I wish you were in our group. You'd bewilder my kids who are just starting out roleplaying.

They still ask about my donkey named Jack. They also even now just say "personal space! Learn it! Live it! Love it!" in Elsie's halfling voice.

[stevietee.livejournal.com]

Sex toy...? BDSM...? Female twins sexing people up...?

WHY don't I play AD&D again??? lol

[unanon.livejournal.com]

Man... if I could be guaranteed that my co-players would be half as entertaining or creative I would actually consider plunging headfirst into the treacherous world of Role Play.

Maybe.

Possibly.

If I was assured of chocolate.

[gmslegion.livejournal.com]

I once sat in for someone else at a game and played "in character" as Bob Newhart all night.

I wasn't asked back.

[flewellyn.livejournal.com]

We have GOT to roleplay together sometime. :-)

[illandaria.livejournal.com]

That's never happened in any game I've ever played. *pout*

[illandaria.livejournal.com]

I'd love to be in a gaming session like that. I'm the lone smart ass in our werewolf campaign, and I wonder sometimes if my fellow players have to work to get so boring.

[whorlwind.livejournal.com]

Its a whitewolf game, if you find a group that aren't angsty teenagers its surprising. =)

[illandaria.livejournal.com]

Well, yeah. Although my gaming group is less interested in being whiny and angsty as they are in killing things. Me, I would dance a jig if we could have more actual roleplay and less four-hour-long combat sessions. But that's just me. I would also love to find a Changeling group in my area, but that's never going to happen either, so I guess I'll just keep dreaming about my ideal gaming group. :P

[sujata.livejournal.com]

So I'm sleep-deprived and wired on caffeine, and searching for a specific post you made a while back. And in the process of that search, I come across this one, and read the following --

Kari the half-elf priestess

as

"Kari the half-assed priestess" --

and I damn nearly fell off my chair from laughing so hard.

I just had to share, in the hope of making you laugh too.

But don't tell Scott. ;-)