Gaming humor

[kellinator]

First, the necessary background.

As most of you already know, I play a swashbuckler named Martina in streamweaver's RPG. (That's her in the icon, as drawn by relevantpink.) Martina has twice incurred injuries that should have killed her, but, thanks to the miracle known as hero points, simply maimed her. The first of these was brain damage that made her a very picky eater and ended up mainly manifesting itself as a tendency to throw up at the drop of a hat. The second was a throat injury that had me terrified -- Martina fancies herself the party smartass, and would quite likely go crazy if unable to talk (just like me) -- but luckily I just rolled a 2 on severity so instead Martina has a deep smoker's voice. Think Kathleen Turner.

Well, I just told streamweaver that I've devised a couple of new feats I think Martina should take:

• Deadly Barf. Once per day per character level, PC can projectile-vomit as a ranged attack. Victim must make a DC20 fortitude save or incur 3d6 of damage from the stomach acids plus 1d6 in temporary con damage.

• Scream of Power. Once per day, PC can let out a bloodcurdling scream that does 6d6 damage to all enemies in an eighty-foot radius (DC25 reflex save for half damage).