I understand the frustation! I'm ususally pretty good at making people feel better, but I'm quite of my element lately. I've thought much about depression. I've struggled for many years. Trying to become a better more enlightened individual. All on the hopes that if I become good enough, I will be able to just feel ok for most of the time. Depression seems like an very extreme form of self-centeredness. A sort of curse that you can't think of anyone or anything else but you, your pain. It seems with me, that repressed anger twists itself inside my psyche and turns against me. All that rage disguises it self and suddenly it seems like a good idea to kill myself. Sometimes it helps when I tell myself that I don't deserve that sort of punishment. I'm not that horrible of a person. I'm really angry at someone else and I shouldn't take it out on me by commiting murder. Sometimes being able to hear someone loves and cares for me helps.
There are many people that care for you and like you just for who you are. I myself am one of those people. I hope that someday you are able to feel that love all of the time.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2001-10-05 10:29 am (UTC)I've thought much about depression. I've struggled for many years. Trying to become a better more enlightened individual. All on the hopes that if I become good enough, I will be able to just feel ok for most of the time. Depression seems like an very extreme form of self-centeredness. A sort of curse that you can't think of anyone or anything else but you, your pain.
It seems with me, that repressed anger twists itself inside my psyche and turns against me. All that rage disguises it self and suddenly it seems like a good idea to kill myself.
Sometimes it helps when I tell myself that I don't deserve that sort of punishment. I'm not that horrible of a person. I'm really angry at someone else and I shouldn't take it out on me by commiting murder.
Sometimes being able to hear someone loves and cares for me helps.
There are many people that care for you and like you just for who you are. I myself am one of those people. I hope that someday you are able to feel that love all of the time.