Now it all makes sense!

From "The Character of a Good Ruler", a seventeenth-century pamphlet by Samuel Willard (I'm retrieving it for a professor):

"Evil doers, and the mal-administrations of good ones, are punishments which GOD does inflict on a people that have provoked Him to anger against them. God gave Saul to Israel in His wrath, and he left David to number the people because His anger was kindled against Israel."

That explains so much...

bitch, bitch, bitch.

You know, days weeks like today, I kind of wish I had a cock. Just so I could tell people to suck it.

Maybe I'll go to Lollipop and get a huge realistic-looking dildo and carry it with me everywhere. And when somebody pisses me off, I'll rip it out and tell them to suck my cock.