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Aug. 15th, 2002
What are you calling sin?
Aug. 15th, 2002 09:53 pmRemember a while back I was bitching about Tennessee state government shutting down because of a budget crisis? The legislature resolved it by raising the damned regressive sales tax yet again and raising sin taxes on cigarettes and alcohol.
So I'm thinking, isn't this a pretty narrow definition for "sin"?
The Kellinator's Proposed Sin Taxes:
Tennessee Football Tax: Put a tax on University of Tennessee football tickets and merchandise. Seriously, this could solve the budget crunch single-handedly, because rabid UT fans will buy anything as long as it's orange. Ugly orange.
Asshole Sports Team Owner Tax: This one's for Bud Adams, the obnoxious owner of the Tennessee Titans.
Bully Tax: C'mon, don't you think it would cut down on school shootings if the kids had to throw in a quarter every time they got caught picking on someone?
Representing the State Poorly Tax: You know how every fucking time there's a tornado, the news crews find some toothless stereotype of a redneck to describe it? They've got to be doing that on purpose.
Stupid Hyperbole Tax: For the news teams every time they make something really boring sound earth-shattering to up ratings. Also applies to when they run smutty "investigative reports" that say really unexpected things like, gee, they don't exactly give massages at seedy massage parlors just to up ratings.
Seedy Massage Parlor Advertising Tax: Speaking of, I get really annoyed at the adult establishments which only advertise in the sports section. Come on, you think women don't read the sports page?
Mudslinging Tax: This one's just for the politicians. Somebody ought to get something useful out of those damn campaign ads.
So I'm thinking, isn't this a pretty narrow definition for "sin"?
The Kellinator's Proposed Sin Taxes:
Tennessee Football Tax: Put a tax on University of Tennessee football tickets and merchandise. Seriously, this could solve the budget crunch single-handedly, because rabid UT fans will buy anything as long as it's orange. Ugly orange.
Asshole Sports Team Owner Tax: This one's for Bud Adams, the obnoxious owner of the Tennessee Titans.
Bully Tax: C'mon, don't you think it would cut down on school shootings if the kids had to throw in a quarter every time they got caught picking on someone?
Representing the State Poorly Tax: You know how every fucking time there's a tornado, the news crews find some toothless stereotype of a redneck to describe it? They've got to be doing that on purpose.
Stupid Hyperbole Tax: For the news teams every time they make something really boring sound earth-shattering to up ratings. Also applies to when they run smutty "investigative reports" that say really unexpected things like, gee, they don't exactly give massages at seedy massage parlors just to up ratings.
Seedy Massage Parlor Advertising Tax: Speaking of, I get really annoyed at the adult establishments which only advertise in the sports section. Come on, you think women don't read the sports page?
Mudslinging Tax: This one's just for the politicians. Somebody ought to get something useful out of those damn campaign ads.