Lest you think I was getting all warm and cuddly...

[kellinator]

No sooner did I make that last post than one of the pains in my ass from a local law firm calls wanting something. Buddha H. Sweatpants. Don't these people ever clue in?

I wonder if I could get away with leaving the following voicemail while I'm away for the holidays:

"Hello, you have reached the office of Kellinator Jones. I'm away for the holidays, why aren't you? Please hang up the phone and go hug your kid. If you are from a local law firm and want something RIGHT THIS MINUTE, please hang up the phone and go fuck yourself."

Comments

[ga-sunshine.livejournal.com]

Email me?

[kellinator.livejournal.com]

Done. 'Sup?

[nyxalinth.livejournal.com]

Buddha H. Sweatpants? (rolls on floor) As a Pagan who also follows Buddhist principles (when she's not too busy being Teh Angst) I find this hilarious (pictures Buddha in sweatpants).

I don't think you could get away with that message, but it's a hoot.

[teague.livejournal.com]

I think at least a couple of the Buddahs would like sweat pants. They seemed to like comfy cloths. :)

[notgruntled.livejournal.com]

The Buddha who ties the drawstring on his sweats is not the true Buddha.

[twisteddaydream.livejournal.com]

You might not get away with it, but it sure as hell is funny!

[tikimama.livejournal.com]

You should say something subtly guilt-inducing (you're Southern, don't you get lessons in that?) like "I hope you are enjoying a pleasant holiday season with your loved ones" which will sink into their tiny lawyer souls and remind them that they were once 4 years old and daddy worked too much. It's evil.

[teague.livejournal.com]

Lawyers have souls? And where children?

*is joking. Once worked for a fabulous lawyer*

[notgruntled.livejournal.com]

Good point. Southerners -- and especially Southern women -- are masters of the subtle body blow, the velvet dagger. No lessons are offered or needed; it's bred in the bone. As the historian Shelby Foote put it, "A Southerner will never insult you accidentally."

The more direct, more Yankee approach is George Carlin's: "Touch the little prick every now and then, and maybe he won't be mugging my ass in ten years."

[teague.livejournal.com]

Hey, Kell..I gots a question. What is the user name of the chica you were hanging around with during Dragon? The one who writes romance novels? I'd like to show her my little story bit, and ask if it's the sort of thing they might like. I seriously gave the writing romance stories for money a think, and if I can make money without having to stand on my feet on hard concrete thanking people for buying stuff, I will.

[vernard.livejournal.com]

her LJ name is reannon and her real name is Elizabeth Doandlson. she has a yahoo group.

[flewellyn.livejournal.com]

Egads. Sounds like someone to direct one of your famed unsent letters at.