Getting things backwards

[kellinator]

It hit me yesterday:

When I was a teenager in high school, I went to class, studied, went to band practice, went to club meetings, went to work. That was pretty much all I did. And pretty much all I thought about was how to get a good scholarship so I could go to a good college and become a fine upstanding member of society. I was on the right track: I got good grades and generally acted responsibly.

Basically, I was a little grownup.

Now I'm 25. I'm out every night, I get in trouble with my parents for not calling home often enough, I spend money irresponsibly, I dye my hair odd colors. The things in life that currently get most of my attention are boys, booze, comic books, LiveJournal, Homicide, and what am I going to do for fun this weekend.

Basically, I've become a teenager.

Comments

[dellaran.livejournal.com]

I have a bit of the same problem... I'm trying to make up for a misspent youth full of quiet study and responsible behavior. Better late than never!

[kellinator.livejournal.com]

I have a feeling it's a lot more fun now than it would have been then. No curfew!!

[bheansidhe.livejournal.com]

Meeee too.

[soulfire.livejournal.com]

Some of us are still wondering how the hair turned out and for photographic proof :)

[kellinator.livejournal.com]

Very soon, I hope! :)

[astrophysicat.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I have a bit of the same thing. I wanted to be a teenager when I was one, but between not a soul being attracted to me, and really not having any friends who went out and partied, there wasn't much to do but track, cross-country, plays and school. I remember getting to college, and realizing that getting into the best school I could was my goal for so long that I didn't know what to do now. (that feeling lasted about 2 days before I found new goals).

But the letting your hair down you're doing now really is a 20-something 30-something thing. Or at least appears it if you look around at most 25 year olds.

But yeah, I couldn't even be as much of a geek as I wanted to be in high school, I didn't have friends who "gamed" or role-played. So, I'm finally letting out my inner nerd. Now that's what I call scary.

[kellinator.livejournal.com]

remember getting to college, and realizing that getting into the best school I could was my goal for so long that I didn't know what to do now.

Y'know, once my freshman year in college I dozed off while studying for finals and doing laundry, and when I woke up, I was being brutally honest with myself and the thought went through my head "you just want to go to grad school because school's the only thing you know how to do." I shrugged it off. Wonder how my life would be different if I had listened? *shrug* Oh well.

Funny that you used the phrase "letting your hair down." Dyeing my hair feels like a declaration. "I'm here, and I'm going to be a brat now!!"

[daraflower.livejournal.com]

Dyeing my hair feels like a declaration. "I'm here, and I'm going to be a brat now!!"

it's SO good that you can do that. over the years, i would say that maybe a third of the random strangers who have commented on my hair are older/middle-aged women who would add to the compliment, "oh, i *wish* i could do that." when i invariably reply, "well... you should!" they usually demur with some comment about how everyone would think it's a midlife crisis... or that their kids would be so embarrassed. that makes me so sad! i mean, chances are you've spent your childhood and adolescence wanting to do things you couldn't/weren't allowed to yet... and then in early adulthood you likely had to bust ass at your job, or at raising kids, trying to earn respect. but later in life, by the time we become real grown-ups... i think a lot us forget that by learning to be responsible, we've now *earned* the right to be brats! no one is the boss of you, at least not of your non-professional life... so why not do what the fuck you want to?

[polychromatic22.livejournal.com]

Sometimes I stop. Just, stop.

And think to myself...

Oh my god, I'm a grown-up! This is what a grown-up is! I had no idea...

I expected it to be different somehow. More, I dunno... Maybe less? Less silliness. More stability.

The silliness abounds and the stability... well, that revolves around my inner sense of who I am. I can't base it on what the world thinks of me, or what my blood family thinks of me, or what my friends think of me, or what my family-family (yano, that thing you build out of people who are more than just friends, but life partners, including the SO of course) thinks of me. I Do take into account what they all think (starting backwards in order or importance, with first being least important, and last being most important). But... Really, I just take each day as it comes. Am I basically getting what I want out of life? Am I doing the things I want to be doing?


Right now, what I want most, my big huge goals:

A job for Chris
Canvas (for painting) for me

Down the line a kitten, and a baby and so forth. I was flirting with the idea of starting a new cult religion that will help the sheep be less miserable and less of a nuisance in everyones (everyone = all the people I designate as important, which generally translates as all the smart people, but not the only criteria for "peoplehood") lives. Oh, and make fabulously wealthy. That'd be ultra cool.

[bouncepogo.livejournal.com]

Stop being my twin!!!

[whysoblue.livejournal.com]

I'm exactly the same! I didn't start drinking until after I was legal. I never tried certain inhalable items until after I had graduated college. Started smoking? Last year. I was 24 when I ditched professional aspirations, picked up and moved cross country. How do I spend my free time (other than with the boyfriend)? Making zines and playing in a band. I wear my converse shoes to work.

I wouldn't have it any other way, though. I can't imagine I'd be nearly as happy if I had stayed a grownup.

[autumn-stars.livejournal.com]

Ya know, I had that exact same realization about myself last summer.

In high school I was one of the "good kids".. one of the kids eveyrone's parents (mine included) trusted and depended on. I was the designated driver, the cab service, and the one to call when someone needed to know "where is my kid?"..

And now I cackle at the thought of being ANY of those things.. muahahahahahahahaaa!

Welcome to being a teenager. Nice of you to join the club. *giggle*

[kittybecca.livejournal.com]

I did the same thing, too. ^_^