kellinator (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
kellinator) wrote2006-02-02 02:37 pm
kellinator) wrote2006-02-02 02:37 pm
If the White House were in Coruscant...
A conversation with ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
walkinlikecain in the comments to my previous entry led to the following insanity.
Ultimately, one of the biggest reasons the Star Wars prequels left me with such a sour taste in my mouth is the Jedi. People of my generation grew up envisioning the Jedi as heroes. Not as namby-pamby, backbiting, misinterpreting-prophecy, missing-all-the-totally-obvious-signs, clinging-to-dogma, sit-on-their-hands talking-heads wusses.
In other words, not as politicians.
With this in mind, let's look at the Episode III Jedi Council in comparison with our current leadership.
Though you could make a case for Anakin Skywalker and his hotheadedness, he's not really a part of the Council, so I'll go with the charismatic and well-liked Obi-Wan Kenobi as George W. Bush. Please don't throw rotten tomatoes. I'm just working within a framework here. Sorry, Ewan.
Yoda is older than dirt and likes to hide out in undisclosed locations. Clearly, he's Dick Cheney.
Can there be any doubt who Mace Windu is? "Hand me my lightsaber... it's the one that says 'bad muthafucker.'" Mace Windu likes to blow shit up. Mace Windu is Donald Rumsfeld.
That chick Jedi who's wildly popular in spite of the fact that she has no lines and is easier to kill than Jar-Jar Binks (it's not my fault I don't remember her name; she DOESN'T HAVE ANY LINES) sounds like Condoleeza Rice to me.
I have no clue where Anakin Skywalker, Palpatine, or the movie's one true hero, Bail Organa, fit into this, but Padme Amidala is the ineffectual Democrat of your choice.
Heh, that really lends a new element to one of the scenes in Episode III that pissed me off the most...
Yoda: Fucked up we did.
Obi-Wan: Yup.
Yoda: Go to asshole-of-the-universe planets we will. Hide like pussies for twenty years. Then make dumbass farmboy save us we will.
Obi-Wan: Sounds good to me. I'll go to Tatooine. They have cheap hookers.
walkinlikecain in the comments to my previous entry led to the following insanity. Ultimately, one of the biggest reasons the Star Wars prequels left me with such a sour taste in my mouth is the Jedi. People of my generation grew up envisioning the Jedi as heroes. Not as namby-pamby, backbiting, misinterpreting-prophecy, missing-all-the-totally-obvious-signs, clinging-to-dogma, sit-on-their-hands talking-heads wusses.
In other words, not as politicians.
With this in mind, let's look at the Episode III Jedi Council in comparison with our current leadership.
Though you could make a case for Anakin Skywalker and his hotheadedness, he's not really a part of the Council, so I'll go with the charismatic and well-liked Obi-Wan Kenobi as George W. Bush. Please don't throw rotten tomatoes. I'm just working within a framework here. Sorry, Ewan.
Yoda is older than dirt and likes to hide out in undisclosed locations. Clearly, he's Dick Cheney.
Can there be any doubt who Mace Windu is? "Hand me my lightsaber... it's the one that says 'bad muthafucker.'" Mace Windu likes to blow shit up. Mace Windu is Donald Rumsfeld.
That chick Jedi who's wildly popular in spite of the fact that she has no lines and is easier to kill than Jar-Jar Binks (it's not my fault I don't remember her name; she DOESN'T HAVE ANY LINES) sounds like Condoleeza Rice to me.
I have no clue where Anakin Skywalker, Palpatine, or the movie's one true hero, Bail Organa, fit into this, but Padme Amidala is the ineffectual Democrat of your choice.
Heh, that really lends a new element to one of the scenes in Episode III that pissed me off the most...
Yoda: Fucked up we did.
Obi-Wan: Yup.
Yoda: Go to asshole-of-the-universe planets we will. Hide like pussies for twenty years. Then make dumbass farmboy save us we will.
Obi-Wan: Sounds good to me. I'll go to Tatooine. They have cheap hookers.
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XD
What, may I ask, brought on this sudden revelation?
Re: XD
http://kellinator.livejournal.com/859244.html?thread=6241644#t6241644
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I'm flattered!
"Screw you guys, I'm going to Tatooine. They have cheap hookers."
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Palpatine is Rove - source of all evil, power behind.... Anakin, who is Bush. None too bright and easily swayed by mind-boggling faulty logic to the dark side, and a big believer in the ends justifying the means. Yoda and Mace Windu, however, do not follow the analogy. Because while blind, stultifying and seriously in need of Force-balancing, they at least MEANT well. Same cannot be said of Rummy and Cheney. Agreed on Organa and Amidala as the ineffectual Democrats whimpering about the death of fweedom.
As far as the female Jedi, yeah, her easy-kill pissed me off but good. But we must take note that JAR-JAR BINKS LIVES. Which is proof beyond all others that Lucas is ebil.
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Whinykin has no real place until he becomes Vader who I guess will be the vice president to whomever kindly Emperor Palpatine will one day embody.
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"You suck, and your brother sucks, and your Alliance sucks." Hehehehehe. Though it doesn't quite have the same ring as "You are a part of the Rebel Alliance and a traitor. Take her away!" :)
cheers,
Phil
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