Cat mommy at her wits' end.

[kellinator]

I don't know what the hell is up with Heidi these past couple of days. I thought I was making real progress with her, what with her climbing up on me and licking my face. But the past couple of days, she's been skittish as hell -- maybe moreso than she was when I first got her home. She's not hiding, but she's not having much to do with me. Remember the Calvin and Hobbes strips where Calvin would be interacting with strange aliens who turned out to be his parents? That's how she's looking at me. Like I'm some strange alien. It's not that she's snooty, she's just not even in the same universe.

I was so concerned with doing the right thing for her that I didn't think about the right thing for me, what I wanted (which I realize now was a nice kitty, probably orange, that would climb all over me like B.J. and Nick used to), and now what I most feared has come to pass: I have a cat that doesn't like me.

Comments

[stevietee.livejournal.com]

Our little Violet does the same thing sometimes, but she always comes back around. Nothing to worry about.

[kungfoogirl.livejournal.com]

Cats are mopre complex creatures than I think we often give them credit for.

They go through phases, just like people do.

Pixel is, at the moment, avoidng me like the plague. We are usually very close. But right now, she's having a "I want someone other than Mommy" phase. She'll get over it.

But yeah. It hurts like hell. I adore her, and want nothing more than to curl up with her and good book. And she wants to go be with everyone in the house but me.

Give her time. She'll come around.

[katyakoshka.livejournal.com]

Don't worry. Something might have spooked her while you were out -- she'll chill out soon enough.

It's not you.

My cats get like that, too.

The more you stress out over it, the more it's going to weird her out. This is a cat being a cat.

You'll know she doesn't like you when she pees on your stuff and craps in the middle of the room.

[lac.livejournal.com]

My cat has been uber skittish the past couple of days...change of season in my case. Could be the same in Heidi's. They sense things the air we don't.

[karnythia.livejournal.com]

Fall is coming, my cat gets weird every year at this time. Just wait it out, she'll be right back to loving you in a few days.

[dslartoo.livejournal.com]

Don't be too sure. She's just very skittish. vill's cat Villanelle was extremely skittish too and would rarely venture out from under the bed when I was around despite my being around frequently for two years.

Give her a little time and keep being loving and supportive. She'll come around. :)

cheers,
Phil

[darkerdays.livejournal.com]

if your cat hates you, it will let you know, trust me. they arent shy like that.

when skurvy decided he didnt like me going to boston for a weekend, first thing he did when i got home is pee on my suitcase, my cell phone (wiped out all numbers) and new purse i got in boston.

when he decided he didnt wanna live with me anymore, he opened my drawer with my bra in it, took a shit in the cup of a $40 bra (and well worth the money) and CLOSED THE DRAWER BACK! OMG. he closed it back.

im told he has a wonderful life now with his old man owner who doesnt wear bras to shit on.

[r3dqu33n.livejournal.com]

I wouldn't say she doesn't like you. She's still new to you and your home, so she's adjusting. She may be skittish by nature, but even then when she feels more secure she could become the lap kitty you want.

rance's cat Bonita is the nervous type. It took her a while to accept me, but now that she has she's become my cat as well. She'll snuggle with me and kiss me.

It just takes time. . .

[polychromatic22.livejournal.com]

Every cat I have had in Georgia has gone through wackiness come the changing of the seasons. Winter to spring, summer to fall, they freak out and act super weird. Some of them got more playful and wanted to run everywhere, some of them wanted to hole up and have nothing to do with me. Not weird. Cats have personalities, and sometimes they just aren't in the mood for people,or other cats.
Also, some cats go through a depressurization period when being adopted. Especially older cats. They might go through a slight "huh, what the hell is all this new home junk?" and then seem to get over it, but that was just the first stage. This could be the real settling down. Just like human foster kids settling into adoption, these things take time. Love, respect and stability will even things out.
I also find that *most* cats (though not all) are happiest in at least two cat situations. Heidi might need a companion kitty. I wouldn't think kitten kitten, as that might be too much for her, I would think at least 6-7 month old female, neutered, never bred (breeding often changes the personality of a cat, and how they interact, and two mother cats together do not often do well, even if they no longer have kittens).

[kk1raven.livejournal.com]

You haven't had her that long, have you? Give her time and don't press her too hard. My experience is that trying too hard scares off a skittish cat even more. You might want to try getting some treats that she likes and keeping them out and close to you. When she comes near, give her one. Cats vary a lot in how quickly they decide to like people. I've had two cats that started life as feral kittens. The first one had had some human contact by the time I got her, but she took a while to get confident around me. Once she got comfortable she was very loving. She never learned to accept anyone other than me and the person I got her from though. The second one was totally wild and it took him all of 15 hours to decide that I was the best thing that ever happened to him. He wants my attention 24 hours a day. He loves to climb all over me. After about a year, he still hides from other people though.

[herroyalflyness.livejournal.com]

this one time my youngest FREAKED OUT because I put a blue blanket on the bed.

Seriously. Freaked. She walked around with her tail all bottle-brushed and refused to go near the bedroom for two days. She'd creep down the hall and look suspiciously toward the bedroom and then dash really fast past the bedroom door to get to the kitchen where the food was.

Then she went back to normal.

[10dimensions.livejournal.com]

I'm not going to be all nice like everyone else has been, because so far you've ignored all that wisdom the previous fifty-eleven times you've made this post.

Stop overanalyzing your damn cat already! Chill, and just let things be. I know how you are when you get insecure, and trust me, your mood swings and anxiety over her are NOT helping things! Animals are very sensitive to that kind of thing.

Furthermore, cats are not dogs, they are not going to be up your ass all the time. They have mood swings too, just like we do. I'm quite convinced that female cats have their very own PMS. She will no more behave consistently than you do. Additionally, you've only had her a couple of weeks, she is still adjusting and learning to trust you. Obsessing over the natural ups and downs of that process won't make that happen any faster, but it will make you insane.

Finally: "now what I most feared has come to pass: I have a cat that doesn't like me"

I have never met anyone who works so hard at believing that the sky is always falling. Self-fulfilling prophecy love. Believe it, live it. Feel free not to apply this only to your cat.

In summary: Chill the fuck out!

[ellimayhem.livejournal.com]

I echo the sentiments already posted above and remind you that at least she isn't Bryony!;) 'Twill be OK.

[ellimayhem.livejournal.com]

er, that is the "dont' worry so much, cats are wierd, she'll come around" sentiments are the ones I am echoing...

[divinetailor.livejournal.com]

tabbies are like that--they run hot and cold. give her a bit to calm down. cats all adjust to new situations in different ways--it's not a personal rejection, and i know she likes you just fine. you just have to get to know her ways of showing it.

[sempereadem.livejournal.com]

Oh, hon, don't worry. It may be the pollen, it might just be her mood. I'm sure she'll come around. I've had Nyx for almost 9 years now, and there are days she still runs from me. So don't think she doesn't like you.

[(Anonymous)]

Cats are just odd. It's part of their charm. All of the above sugggestions are pretty good, especially the getting her to associate you with food and comfort. So, instead of expounding on how it's not you, it's her, or vice versa, I offer an object story.

We have a cat named Hobo. Hobo came to us an a rescued refugee from the crackheads that once lived next door to us. Hobo is also most likely fairly inbred, as we're sure he came from the cattery down the street. (Cattery being my term for that house that has cats, and never has any of them fixed. They keep having babies, and as the babies mature, the just disperse through the neighborhood.) I took Hobo in the night I heard the two snooty siamese from next door trapping him under our car, and making him scream. When I fished him out from the car, he was growling. I brought him inside growling. I set him at the food, and he kept growling. He ate growling, drank water growling, growled at our other cats, and walked over to curl up in my husband's computer chair, still growling. He growled in his sleep. I just knew he wouldn't be the most well adjusted cat. And he wasn't. I tried not to worry about him too much. I was just kind to him. I petted him as much as possible. I allowed him to hide when he was over stimulated. He grew to like me. For awhile he disliked my husband, who also was not consulted when I brought him inside. Brian would call him meanish names as well, though nothing too mean. I finally pointed out that Brian wouldn't like Hobo either if Hobo called him a little asshat. So Brian stopped and began to be more proactively nice to Hobo. It was like a miracle. Suddenly Hobo began to like Brian more, and stop hiding from him. The kind of cat that Hobo has grown into is abit of a brawler. He still dislikes strangers, and hides when there is alot of activity and loudness. He sneaks up on the other cats and picks fights from the back. He'll show love by jumping in your lap, and kneeding, his eyes glazing and becoming very far away. He still often rejects casual petting by lowering his body away from your hand, his expression becoming panicked, as if you mean to hurt him, even though we never knowingly have. Not even accidentally. If you took Hobo at face value, you'd think he was very antisocial, but no...He's just a weirdo, with some personal preferances for how to be handled. And he is sensitive.

Your lady may just be still adjusting to her new situation. She's had alot of changes. She's gone from having babies, to being fixed. She's gone from a house filled with other cats, to being the single queen. Not to mention that she now has you. She may even be worried now that you plan to take her back, or will get rid of her like her last people. I know that's abit humanish, but animals do have emotions and memories too. Hell, she might be testing you, to see how you'll react.

[bossieboots.livejournal.com]

This is off topic, but...

JACKJACKJACKJACKJACKJACK

[kellinator.livejournal.com]

I kid you not, one of the things getting me through today is knowing that the season premiere is tonight!

(Need WaT icons. Bad.)

[heathrow.livejournal.com]

She doesn't hate you. She's just having a seasonal spaz.

[vernard.livejournal.com]

You worry about the damned cat too much. Trust me. The cat is happy. And cats tend to knw who they own and get very persnickity when their owned property starts acting werid. Therefore, your cat should be very neurotic right now.

Just chill and let things be. The cat will be fine.

[kmeghan.livejournal.com]

Millie used to be all about sitting on me when ever I was doing anything while sitting or laying down... That phase is over for the most part (which is okay with me....15 lbs of fat cat on your chest can hurt!) but it makes it so much more special when she decided that she loves me again :) I'm okay when my cats aren't all about loving on me. Although, they are all about me when it's time to eat!! :)

[godessillyria.livejournal.com]

I've had this very problem with my kitty, Mr. Jitters. Just let her be and she'll come around. She just needs some space.

[piratejenny.livejournal.com]

She's still getting used to things. It takes time. Book going out to you tomorrow. (And it sucks when this happens--sometimes I thought Lance liked T better than me.)

[weaktwos.livejournal.com]

My Sascha is skittish right now. He goes in cycles. Sometimes he needs more love (aka lubbinz) than others. Max also has a cycle of neediness, although largely he's a big mama's boy. Also my female cats were always more moody than these two lads ever could be..combined. But, true to male form, they are slobs.

This morning Sascha got into my armoir and mined out as many socks he could muster. He's a sock fisher.

Don't worry so much. The main concerns will be if they aren't eating, drinking, or using the litter box. She'll need love 'n cuddles eventually. :-)

[leezechka.livejournal.com]

The first two months I had Oscar he wouldnt barely acknowledge me at all. now I cannot remove him from my feet most of the time.

Do not worry, she has to find her level of attachment and comfort. I am sure you are a great kitty momma, just give her time and let her come to you.

[spikepage.livejournal.com]

A whole lot of things could be the cause.. bad bowel.. kidney infection...furballs.... in heat.... or maybe just cuz she's a cat.

From what you said about the earlier part of the week, she's not a neurotic antisocial cat. Give her time to come back around.

[kth-dragon.livejournal.com]

*hug* You'll both be fine soon. Don't have an aneurism over this or anything, though, okay? -..^

[leopard-print.livejournal.com]

I gotta go with vernard and 10dimensions on this one hunny. Just let it go. It will all work out. It really will. But you've got to stop trying to force it.