Because you asked for it... Unsent Letters, Morning Commute Edition, now with 20% more "fuck."

[kellinator]

Dear Fucking City of Atlanta,

Don't think it has escaped my notice that every major traffic light on my morning commute is weighted against me, because obviously people only drive to the interstate. In fact, they work on the interstate. They sit in the morning traffic jam for two hours, then they pull little desks out of their SUVs and set them up on 75/85 and work there all day until 5 o'clock when they put them back in their SUVs and sit in the traffic jam for another two hours. Bitch please.

Try actually observing the city's traffic patterns for a change,
Kelly

Dear Fucking Pedestrians,

If you want us to follow the traffic law where we don't run over pedestrians, then it is your moral and ethical obligation to follow the traffic law where you don't saunter out in front of oncoming traffic like you own the place when you don't even have the fucking light. Bitch please.

If I had a tank...,
Kelly

Dear Fucking Parking Office,

[rant censored by the Committee of Anatomical Impossibilities]

Absolutely positively no motherfucking love whatsoever,
Kelly

Comments

[dwivian]

How did you know I was stuck on the Interstates this morning?!?!?

1.5 hours, and had I a desk and a sprint wireless card, I'd have just gone ahead and checked the tape libraries from 75 Southbound...

[buzz.livejournal.com]

I also count 20% more "Bitch, please." ;)

[adamosity.livejournal.com]

*laughs*

thanks for cheering my morning up

--adam

[mojomuze.livejournal.com]

Because you asked for it... Unsent Letters, Morning Commute Edition, now with 20% more "fuck."


AHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHA! I love the TWENTY-PERCENT MORE FUCK!

[groove-haircut.livejournal.com]

Waitwaitwait... you want the City of Atlanta to do something *logical* in connection with the city's transportation needs? How long have you lived here? This is Atlanta! We don't *do* that sort of thing! Move to a real city, you Communist!

[corvidae9.livejournal.com]

[rant censored by the Committee of Anatomical Impossibilities]

*falls down, laughing hysterically*

fucking traffic.

[juanfandango.livejournal.com]

Bikers riding side by side? Shocking! You'll be telling me next that motorists have someone in the passenger seat beside them!

[flewellyn.livejournal.com]

One of these days, I hope you send one of these.

[vertigomac.livejournal.com]

"then it is your moral and ethical obligation to follow the traffic law where you don't saunter out in front of oncoming traffic like you own the place when you don't even have the fucking light."

When I moved here from NY, this was the first thing I noticed: people ssslllooowwwlllyyy crossing the road, without looking, at any point in the road.

I had thought at first that it was a courage thing; I ain't afraid of no pile of rolling steel! Now I thing it's more a dare to motorists: Hit me! I dare you! I will make you brake suddenly! Bhwwwaaahaaa!