Crazy Crackpot Theories R Us!

[kellinator]

Bear with me for a minute here while I indulge myself.

I've got two theories about certain cultural occurrences and their relation to presidential administrations.

The first, as cooked up by atomicnumber51 and me a couple of Super Bowls ago:

Think about advertising campaigns for beer, that all-American beverage you drink while watching the football game and/or scratching your ass. Is it fair to say that beer commercials take the pulse of the nation?

What were the big beer ad campaigns of the '80s, the heyday of Reagan? The Swedish Bikini Team. Spuds McKenzie and his bevy of half-naked women.

What was the beer ad campaign of the '90s, the time of Clinton? The Budweiser frogs. Followed by the ...umm? iguanas? Funny, creative, memorable stuff, and not a boob in sight.

Now, with a very conservative administration in office (and the Religious Right running amuck screaming about Janet Jackson's nipple), what's the most inescapable beer ad campaign? Those damn twins. With that awful song. They won't go away. They show up when I'm trying to have a beer and watch SportsCenter. (Only I don't drink beer. I drink cider. Cider is beer for people who don't like beer.) I think the twins bother me beyond my usual disdain for selling stuff with women's bodies because... it's just icky. Why do the guys want the hot twins? So they can have a threesome with them, I guess. Am I the only one who thinks even the idea of having a threesome where a family member is involved is just a huge ol' squick? Not to mention they're Barbie dolls, what makes you think they'd ever have a threesome with your drunk beer-bellied crotch-scratching ass?

Am I the only one who sees a connection between conservative administrations that try to restrict women's rights (and no, I'm not just talking about abortion -- I'm thinking of things like Dr. David Hager, aka Dr. "PMS should be treated with reading the Bible") and the rampant objectification of women? Get in the kitchen and make me some pie!!

Second part, not quite as well-formed yet (hell, I'm not even sure if the first part is well-formed):

Didn't Barbie have some pretty cool jobs in the '90s? Maybe she still does, but I can barely see past all the pink. Disney's Princesses. They're everywhere you look. And not just the new ones like Mulan (who barely ever shows up) and Belle (who I'll give a pass from all this vitriol -- she's a bookworm!), but the old-school ones, who didn't do much besides sitting around putting up with abusive families with nary a peep (good girls don't complain) waiting for their princes to come save them. Anyway, don't little girls emulate their dolls? Well, how do you become a princess? You're either born one or you marry a prince. It's never too young to start indoctrinating girls to marry up! And what the hell do princesses do, anyway? Besides put on pretty dresses? Talk about an example of "men do, women are."

I was attempting to explain this all to my mom and finished up with "You think I'm crazy, but I think I'm brilliant." She gave me That Look and said "Well, I'm glad someone thinks so."

I'm using my Munch-as-described-by-Meldrick's-grandmother icon because I think he'd understand. Also, because everyone thinks he's crazy too.

Comments

[branwynelf.livejournal.com]

On the understanding that I love Disney movies (so I'm a bit of a hypocrite, I admit it) ... I've been saying that for years about the rolemodels the princesses provide. "When younger than 16, act up to your parents, then run away - you'll have amazing adventures and will then get to marry the first cute guy you meet without knowing anything else about him or his family."

Excellent ...

[pokeyturtle.livejournal.com]

if you've never read susan faludi, you ought to.

[kelliecoo.livejournal.com]

You are brilliant! Now tell Hillary to run, because I will be out working on her campaign with you ;)

[reannon.livejournal.com]

Oops. Strike that, reverse it.

Believe it or not, the Bush Administration is SUPPORTING the coach who blew the whistle on the Title IX offenders. (Who were in Birmingham, Ala., by the way, not some backwater shitsplat town, one of its biggest cities.) They filed a friend-of-the-court briefing supporting protection for whistleblowers in Title IX offenses, saying it was vital for the law to have meaning.

Yeah. I damn near fell out of my chair.

[kellinator.livejournal.com]

*SHOCK*

Noted and corrected. And I am glad to hear it.

[reannon.livejournal.com]

Tell me about it. I had to read it four times to be sure they were REALLY taking the right stance for once. Someone must have slipped W the wrong happy pill.

[wintersweet.livejournal.com]

Twins = EW!!! as far as I'm concerned. BLEH. Incest is not sexy!

[stevietee.livejournal.com]

I asked my wife once why little girls wanted to be princesses, and she said, "It's all about the tiara." Which I assume also explains the Miss America phenomena.

So, basically, we just need to find another socially-acceptable situation in which women can wear tiaras.

[thedivinemrsm.livejournal.com]

i'm not sure about all little girls wanting to be princesses (i don't remember wanting to be one anyway) - but it is all about the tiara.

never thought of it explaning the beauty pageant/miss america thing. but i suppose that is probably part of it.

socially-acceptable situation in which women can wear tiaras? answer: weddings. i just got married, and yes, i was adamant about wearing a tiara (or "headpiece" as the wedding planners call them).

[stevietee.livejournal.com]

My wife did the same thing at our wedding -- she loves that tiara.

[katyakoshka.livejournal.com]

A second wave of backlash?

Also, on the second part, there's this article/story in the latest Utne Reader that addresses the instilling of female passivity and powerlessness. Refers to Woolf and "angels of the household" and killing said passive angel.

Should make a copy and send it to everyone who wants it if they don't want to buy an Utne Reader themselves.

Note Judith beheading Holofernes in icon, as depicted by Artemisia Gentileschi.

[idioticpoet.livejournal.com]

How incredibly interesting.

As a sidenote, I'm reading Alexandra Lapierre's novel about Artemisia. I'm only 60 pages into it, but so far, it's one hell of a read.

[meganinhiding.livejournal.com]

Well this someone (and probably a lot more) thinks you're brilliant. And crazy. They're not mutually exclusive.

[pokeyturtle.livejournal.com]

the sky must bear a really interesting color in your world. truly.

[thedivinemrsm.livejournal.com]

you're crazy brilliant. :-)

i agree about the ick factor with the twin obsession that men seem to have. i once asked jason what the deal was with guys wanting two girls (e.g. twins) at once. he couldn't explain it of course, except to simply say that the concept of two women is hot.

in other words, guys don't bother considering the familial tie there. they just think it's hot, and that's all the thought that goes into it. if they look alike, my guess is that they can then not even bother to try to distinguish one woman from another.

[tfcocs.livejournal.com]

I agree with you, especially with regards to the Barbie doll analysis. Last summer, I went through a Barbie buying frenzy, much of which is documented under my Barbie Barbie Memories category.

[polychromatic22.livejournal.com]

On a few levels...

Twins. I think the fantasy there is more about the interchangableness of women, and having more than one being focused on you. If guys had a choice, they might go for more than two, think robert palmer and his bevy of dolls that had no emotion or personality other than their desire. Guys might still stick to two simply because they can't figure out what to do with more. (on a sidenote, the olsen twins squick me out on this level. they seem to market their present selves with this in mind, they are always touching and appearing very intimate with eachother in photoes)

Conservative sexiness/liberal sexiness.
There does seem to definitely be a dichotomy there. The icon of grown-up conservative sexiness is the sexy home maker. She's a lady in the drawing room and a tiger in bed. The icon of grown up liberal sexiness seems to be the powerful female. The woman in a powerful career position who is passionate in *all* her life. She gets on top and gets the job done.

There are plenty of other male fantasies of how their ideal sexy woman would be, but it seems to come down to Conserverative=What can I do for you? and Liberal=What can you do for me?

There's also the money/skirt length theory thing. During recessions and financial downtrends, skirts tend to go long, during uptrends they go up. I kinda wonder where that fits in.

*These are all musings mused with you and are not indicative of a final thought or theory on the matters. Simply conversation, not facts or set opinions.

[chicating.livejournal.com]

Right here with ya, bunk.

[flewellyn.livejournal.com]

That IS interesting. And you may well have a point.

And dammit, I think you're brilliant, too!

[sharrainchains.livejournal.com]

Count my dimpled chad on the side of your brilliance. The focus does seem to change in this type of politico-social climate.

Even the Barbie dolls! I can handle Barbie being a princess - OK: Every princess. That's both because I can understand wanting a tiara (I am ashamed enough to admit that I actually spent a fair amount of time ogling tiaras at the mall this week) and because I reached the point of climactic Barbie anger, disgust, and frustration during the Clinton administration.

I can remember when all she had was the clothing I made or bought for her. We played, but everything was always about her. Her clothes. Her cars. Her dream house. Her plastic pseudomale counterparts. She used me and moved on. Still, I watched her meteoric rise to success without envy ... That is, I did not mind that the greedy, self-serving plastic bimbette had become a teacher, model, rap star, soccer player, etc. - even a veterinarian - with great houses, cars, sycophants friends, etc.

It was when she became an astronaut that I became bitter disgusted. That was just so far beyond unfair! An astronaut!? ::shaking head:: OK. Fine. So now she's just a every princess. At this point, We are amused... Let the fundamentalists dream their petty little dreams. Why does Edith Wharton and The Custom of the Country spring to mind? And why the hell do I still want the fecking tiara?

[idioticpoet.livejournal.com]

Who are these twins that you speak of?

Seriously, whenever a commercial starts playing, I immediately change the channel. Reason, I believe that if something's worth knowing about, I'll be enlightened via word-of-mouth. Not commercialized, sleight-of-hand trickery.

[vertigomac.livejournal.com]

Speaking as a beeraphile:

During the '90's, mainstream beer producers were trying to more women to drink beer. This is one of the reasons behind the cute/funny ads like the frogs.

Speaking as a female:

I never liked Barbie, because my family was too broke to afford all the cool crap that elementary school politics insisted she needed.

I also never liked tiaras. I had to wear one a couple of times (First Communion, Halloween costume)and it always felt like my head was in a vise.

Speaking as a crack-pot:

Ahhh, come on. You know you're both brilliant AND crazy!