Unsent Letters, slack-ass edition

[kellinator]

Dear Whoever or Whatever You Are That Keeps Calling Me and Beeping,

My office phone is not your fucking fax machine. It's not even my fucking fax machine. Go call someone who's already out of town and won't care.

No love,
Kelly

Dear Professors,

Trust me, you do not need lots and lots of boring reading material for the four-day weekend. You may want it, but you don't need it. What you need is to go home, hug your kids, pet your dog, and be thankful for your prestigious job and your eminently competent interlibrary loan specialist.

Live a little,
Kelly

Dear Work Ethic,

Where did you go?

Slack-assedly,
Kelly

Comments

[rocketmelee.livejournal.com]

*69 the number that keeps trying to fax you. Then fax that number the following message:

"Please stop trying to fax my ^#^%@$$^! office phone number.

Kisses,

555-5555 (insert your office phone number here)."

Works every time.

And YAY! My computer seems to be working for more than five minutes at a time! You know what that means...

[idioticpoet.livejournal.com]

I've got the same phantom fax problem where I live. We tried that *69 thing, and it wouldn't work.

[renaissancekat.livejournal.com]

Damnit, something must be in the water, because I've had that annoying fax in the ear problem all day!!!

Damn, I fucking hate that!!!

[lux-aurumque.livejournal.com]

Ditto with our office! Goddam it!

[dwivian]

When I get one of those, I find the number of a nearby fax, transfer the call the next time, and get it out of the system.

of course, they think they've gotten through and their fax was successful. I just put it through a shredder, and leave it to them to try later. Hey, I've got time...

Dear Kelly,

[flewellyn.livejournal.com]

Help! I'm under the couch!

Trappedly,
Work Ethic