kellinator: (SVU by frey_at_last)
kellinator ([personal profile] kellinator) wrote2004-09-22 11:11 am

SVU snark

I have got to find healthier ways of dealing with my stress. Ways that do not include lying on the floor eating ice cream.

I'm still trying to decide if I would describe the Law and Order: Special Victims Unit premiere as "sucktastic" or "craptacular". Hmmm, think I'll take both and call it even. Let's see, what have we got?

  • Yet another failed sitcom star "as you've never seen her before!" -- i.e. batshit crazy
  • Munch not getting to do anything (they could have at least let him in on the car chase)
  • The troubling (at least to me) implication from Elliott that he'd do the same thing as Lea Thompson, despite the very obvious psychological damage to the child and, oh, the fact that it's illegal
  • Diane Neal's performance as Casey Novak just keeps getting worse. Congratulations, how does it feel to play the most incompetent and least likable ADA in Law and Order history?
  • Then again, it's not really Neal's fault that Casey is written as an idiot. Casey on King Solomon: "I can't cut the baby in half..." I'm sorry, how did you finish law school without getting the point of that little story?
  • And let's call a fucking moratorium already on Casey tracking down the cops for advice in an attempt to make the audience like her. Ain't workin', yo.
  • The penultimate scene in which Casey, attempting to show off how much she's learned from Elliott, does God only knows how much emotional damage to the 7-year-old victim on the stand. Nice going there!

After witnessing this train wreck, I had to call [livejournal.com profile] sertrel to diss on it. We bitched about how the writers can't write Munch at all and I said they could hire me for $300 a week to write three Munch lines per episode. Like, a hundred bucks a line. And they'd be good lines. It's a bargain. [livejournal.com profile] sertrel took the position that I'd neevr last because the average intelligence or lack thereof of the average SVU writer would drive me as batshit crazy as one of those failed sitcom stars doing a guest bit. I told him that I'd send the rest of the writers out for a Ben and Jerry's run and write the whole episode while they were gone.

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, ice cream to ice cream. I think that's a good stopping point for this post.

There's a little black cloud hanging over my head today. I wish it'd go away.

[identity profile] canciona.livejournal.com 2004-09-22 08:59 am (UTC)(link)
Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, ice cream to ice cream.

LOL

Was listening to Bowie's Ashes to Ashes this morning (which always gets stuck in my head, anyway), and when I read this line, my brain tried to sing along, and then went "wait...that's not how it goes!" *snort*

[identity profile] kellinator.livejournal.com 2004-09-22 09:02 am (UTC)(link)
Mmmmm... David Bowie...

in my humble opinion... :)

[identity profile] reannon.livejournal.com 2004-09-22 09:29 am (UTC)(link)
Huh.

Cause I liked it. I do like Casey. I like that she's not as hard-bitten as the others. It provides a little difference. I do find her sometimes a plot device speaking for the readers, but she's a little more human, doesn't have the callouses yet. It would be nice if they'd let her grow some, harden the skin, but that'll take time. I'm patient.

Hell, my favorite L&O ADA was Angie Harmon, and they made her go away. She was the only female ADA who wasn't the gentling aspect of prosecution, advising the mean old men on compassion and other such "womanly virtues." (pauses to throw up) That got her canned - viewers weren't reacting to a woman who was tougher on criminals than Jack et al.

If Casey gets through this season without toughening up some, then it'll start to feel unrealistic to me. But I recently saw the rerun of her first episode, fresh from white-collar crime, green as grass and annoying the cops. I think they're letting her grow a little.

I like that they let Elliott show his dark side - makes him a little more interesting. It is disturbing, and I think (I hope) that it was meant to be. (I disagree with his bit about parental instinct - yes, it is strong and immediate, but that's formed at birth and infancy, not genetically.) I don't like that he's the sole spokesman for parental feelings on the show - look, Token Dad Moment! - but given their jobs, it's also realistic that none of the others have families.

The ending... my problem wasn't so much what Casey did to the little girl on the witness stand, but a little bit of reality check. a) The judge would've stopped her earlier, b) The birth mother should've been yelling (I would have, by God) and c) I kinda doubt Lea Thompson would have broken like that.

The other reality check was that no family court judge will ever, EVER, take a little girl from her birth parents and give her to the crazed egg donor who keeps kidnapping her. The guiding principle of family court is the best interest of the child. If Lea Thompson's attorney had half a brain, she would have advised her to quit the damn illegal behavior and maybe she could get occasional supervised visitation. That should have been addressed, instead of treating Lea Thompson's intent toward a custody battle as a real threat.

And P.S. that little girl's acting was top-drawer, more than most of the abused-kid actors they get on the show.

But in all, I keep watching this show because it's more intense and more interesting than either of the others. I stick with L&O: Original Flavor, but if it doesn't ease up on the terrorists-are-coming-to-kill-us and by the way the-liberal-media-is-evil, I'm gonna bail this season. SVU is still one of the best-written cops-n-courts shows, even with its flaws.

Be patient. This was a Casey-n-Elliott episode. Just like the rerun I saw the day before was an Olivia-n-IceT episode (my two faves!). Munch will get his day. I maintain hope.

Re: in my humble opinion... :)

[identity profile] stronae.livejournal.com 2004-09-22 11:35 pm (UTC)(link)
Seconded!
ext_14712: (bah indeed)

[identity profile] unanon.livejournal.com 2004-09-22 09:34 am (UTC)(link)
My newly-discovered Homicide-lovin' heart is weeping.

So...some of the characters survive as pale OOCs of themselves? Sadness.

[identity profile] kellinator.livejournal.com 2004-09-22 04:59 pm (UTC)(link)
Pretty much just Munch. It's tragic, really.

Oh, I was so flattered to see that you recommended me to Warren Ellis!! *hugs and squeeee!*

[identity profile] rocketmelee.livejournal.com 2004-09-22 09:45 am (UTC)(link)
Dammit. I made the conscious decision to NOT watch SVU (my poor wee heart, I decided, couldn't take it any more), and now I'm dying to know exactly what I missed and how bad I would have ranked it. Gah. And Television Without Pity doesn't cover SVU, does it? Gah!

Dark cloud begone! Whenever I have a dark cloud, I typically try to vanish it with snarky cartooning or short stories. You should write a first person POV of Munch taking on last night's episode, and then breaking that fourth wall and taking on the writers. Then, you should post it. Because some of us are bored. :)

[identity profile] stevietee.livejournal.com 2004-09-22 10:25 am (UTC)(link)
We taped it, so I have yet to see it -- I'll have to read your cut comments tomorrow!

[identity profile] lordrexfear.livejournal.com 2004-09-22 01:06 pm (UTC)(link)
The only reason I watch SVU is because I have a thing for BD Wong. Also for Christopher Melloni and with OZ off the air and no money for broadway tickets, it's the only way I get my fix other than DVDs.

I agree it seems all implausible, and ridiculous... but god damn it, that's what TV is, implausible, ridiculous and unrealistic. Who wants realism in a fictional show? That's the point. I've been meaning to right about that for years but always get flustered when I try. Really even in "reality TV", realism is thrown out the window.

[identity profile] chicating.livejournal.com 2004-09-22 02:17 pm (UTC)(link)
I wish they would that, too, babe. As it is, I want to go down to Wolf Productions with a "Free The Munchkin" sign and I didn't watch it yesterday. Doesn't look like I'm going to, either. Sigh.
We can't be the only disaffected Homicide obsessives for whom he is the big draw?
(I mean, we're cranky and hold on to our old shit too long to be a demographic, and yet...)

[identity profile] chicating.livejournal.com 2004-09-22 02:26 pm (UTC)(link)
Lord Rex, "Who wants reality on TV?"
Me. At least sometimes...at least things that *feel* emotionally authentic. Which Munch always did. He is one of my people...I knew it almost right away.
And "Rescue Me" and "The Wire" do.

[identity profile] flewellyn.livejournal.com 2004-09-22 02:30 pm (UTC)(link)
Never seen this show at all. But I think "suckcrapular" would be a good word. :-)

[identity profile] bossieboots.livejournal.com 2004-09-22 03:39 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh, I just went for the straight-forward "fucking awful."

badbadbadbadbad

I am relieved to see a number of similarly-minded Homicide fanatics watching for decent Munch dialogue. I would also volunteer my services to write some decent lines.

I think, though, that he did get to drive the car up on the sidewalk. Woohoo.

[identity profile] meganinhiding.livejournal.com 2004-09-23 04:39 pm (UTC)(link)
I used to wish that Pembleton or Howard had been brought onto SVU instead of Munch but now I wish they had stayed away from Homicide. Wolf's ability to create quality television has gone seriously downhill.