I don't belong here.

[kellinator]

Last night I showed up to watch the Vandy game at some restaurant in Buckhead where I'd found out a bunch of Vandy alums were congregating. I showed up alone (kingjohn2nd couldn't make it and alanator was running late) and basically guessed that if my innate charm weren't enough to get me a seat, a shared alma mater would be.

So there I was, surrounded by a hundred people I never would have crossed paths with even if we had been in school at the same time. Women wearing rings that probably cost more than I make in a year. Guys in ATO t-shirts. The really rich, the really thin, the really gorgeous, everywhere. And then me, Little Miss None-of-the-Above. Without my protective cocoon of English honors classes or McTyeire or the guys of Tolman 3.

And I couldn't help but think I don't belong here.

And it reminds me of all the jokes my parents have made over the years about me getting switched at the hospital as a baby. Yeah, they're funny, and we all laugh, but there's always a little bit of an edge that I don't even know if they're conscious of: You're not like us.

I don't think I've ever really belonged anywhere.

Comments

[blackacre.livejournal.com]

I completely understand how you feel. Hell, last night I was at fucking Darwins watching undergrads run around in their self made (from national championship shrts, of course) tube tops adorned with tiffany jewelry, prada bags, etc. Hell, I even saw a girl who topped her outfit off with MANOLOS. And none of them have an ounce of fat on them.

Its just that feeling of...why am I here, why was I ever here and why does BEING here have to make me feel like a loser?

Blah. You aren't alone.

[jerseygirl1.livejournal.com]

That is how I felt when I lived in Atlanta also... even if I had friends and such. There is something "artificial" about Atlanta.