kellinator (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
kellinator) wrote2001-09-22 11:43 pm
kellinator) wrote2001-09-22 11:43 pm
Where I am today
Last night was a rough night. The drama level at Innovox was especially high, and I didn't deal well with it, especially considering that I was meeting someone new. For all the positive energy at Innovox, sometimes things go wrong. Just like for all that we're well-intentioned people, sometimes things go wrong.
Sometimes it's very hard for me to stay calm when someone says "It's okay," no matter how good the intentions behind those words are. I keep wanting to scream "It's NOT okay, and it hasn't been okay for a long time!!" I know folks think they're being supportive, but I think I'd just prefer the honesty. And right now the truth is that despite my best efforts, I'm not having much luck improving my life or my outlook on it. I mean, I know people get pissed at me for wallowing in my own melancholy (ooh, good phrase, must use it in class), but I really have been trying to make some changes in my life for the better. They just don't seem to be taking yet.
And sometimes I think people mean it when they try to comfort me, and sometimes I think they're just glossing it over so they can get back to their favorite subjects. I don't expect to be anyone's favorite subject, nor do I think I should be. But the next time you start to check on someone, remember that words of wisdom probably aren't what they want. Probably they'd prefer you just give them a hug.
Sometimes it's very hard for me to stay calm when someone says "It's okay," no matter how good the intentions behind those words are. I keep wanting to scream "It's NOT okay, and it hasn't been okay for a long time!!" I know folks think they're being supportive, but I think I'd just prefer the honesty. And right now the truth is that despite my best efforts, I'm not having much luck improving my life or my outlook on it. I mean, I know people get pissed at me for wallowing in my own melancholy (ooh, good phrase, must use it in class), but I really have been trying to make some changes in my life for the better. They just don't seem to be taking yet.
And sometimes I think people mean it when they try to comfort me, and sometimes I think they're just glossing it over so they can get back to their favorite subjects. I don't expect to be anyone's favorite subject, nor do I think I should be. But the next time you start to check on someone, remember that words of wisdom probably aren't what they want. Probably they'd prefer you just give them a hug.