Oh wow!!

May. 30th, 2007 04:04 pm
kellinator: (Steve Nash by __lovenhate)
Pacino moment!! "Just when I thought I was out... they pull me back in!"

That damn NBA. I've actually done a fairly good job of keeping my pledge to not watch the rest of these tainted playoffs, when my favorite punching bag comes to the rescue with a metric fuckton of the wanktastic drama that makes it Spoiled Millionaires Theater!

Kobe Bryant throws hissy fit, demands trade

Oh, how sweet it is... Karma train, choo choo choo choo! Wow! Kobe must really hate not hearing his name on SportsCenter during the playoffs! I guess he doesn't want to be The Man that bad after all! 

While I don't doubt that Jerry Buss didn't want to pay Shaq, Kobe's been caught not telling the truth too many times for me to put much stock in what he says. And not only is he demanding a trade, he wants to pick the team too! Is that your entitlement complex in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?

Man, I couldn't write it this entertaining. Kobe doesn't want to sleep in the bed he's made. Oh BWAHAHAHAHAAAAA.
kellinator: (Steve Nash by __lovenhate)
Because I need a little distraction, I'm going to try a little experiment tonight: Liveblogging the Suns/Lakers game.

Oh yeah, and I'm going to be drinking while I do it. I thought about taking a swig every time Kobe takes a shot, but I don't really want to give myself alcohol poisoning.

10:47 PM: One of the announcers just said this game was about the Lakers' "competitive spirit and energy." It should be a short game then.

10:48: James on Kobe's foul: "That's not a good way to start the game." Also, he looked up from his video game long enough to announce the Suns' uniforms are ugly.

 10:50:  Suns lead 11-0. What were they saying about competitive spirit and energy?

10:52: "Kobe cannot worry about the psyche of his teammates." Hey, why would he start now?

10:56: Missed the past four minutes because I misplaced my drink, stood up to look for it, and accidentally kicked it over. And I was still sober when I did this. Maybe this whole thing wasn't the best idea I've ever had.

11:05: Steve is so cute when he chews on his lip like that. Man, why did I think this would be a good game for my first liveblog? It's just going to turn out like Game 2 did and by halftime I'll have nothing to write about besides how many ways can I say "Kobe suuuuucks."

11:09: Never mind me. What will the announcers be talking about by midnight?

11:11: AIR-BALL!! AIR-BALL!!

11:14: "The Suns have now won seven consecutive quarters." I think TNT has a supercomputer dedicated to spitting out meaningless basketball stats.

11:18: Now the announcers are going on about how Kobe must be getting frustrated. Hey, he was the one who wanted to be The Man.

11:20: James: "What's wrong?" Me: "I can't think of anything interesting to write."

11:22: "The Lakers are trying to stay in this series." Not very hard.

11:23: "The Lakers have never been swept in the first round." James: "Well, they're about to be."

11:26: The only way I could give a shit about Jack Nicholson's birthday cake is if Duff from Ace of Cakes made it. Duff = TEH SEX.

11:27: They just said Phil Jackson was reminding Kobe that "great players make their teammates better." I truly think Phil is trying to give Kobe a nervous breakdown.

11:32: Katie objects to my liveblogging because she's trying to sleep on the mousepad.

11:36: James wants to use the computer and my liveblogging is pretty damn lame and nobody else on my flist care about the NBA anyway, so I hereby declare this liveblogging a failure. If anyone needs me, I'll be getting my drink on.

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